The Library

As explained at length in the kuntress for men, female orgasm generally works very differently than male orgasm. Whereas men, generally speaking, can reach full arousal very quickly and experience orgasm and ejaculation very quickly; for women, generally speaking, it can ...

Guardyoureyes often receives questions regarding the limits of what's permitted in the bedroom. Although there are many levels of holiness that a person should strive for, we live today in a very open world full of big nisyonos. Most Chosson and Kalla teachers do not leav...

What are the halachic guidelines when it comes to thoughts during sex? Is there any way for me to rewire my brain and stop this? I feel helpless. Thank you so much. 

I am not an addict. I am the wife of an addict. I have also lived with other addictions before my marriage. My mind is trained to obsess about the addict and their safety, their whereabouts, how they are, or how they ought to be.

This journey has taken me through a number of different stages in how I view my wife’s struggle, how much I’m involved, and how I feel about myself because of it. Stage one was the hardest. I felt bad for myself for being stuck with someone that is “lower” than me. I felt...

Question: Hi, I'm 26 years old. I am married for a bit over 5 years and from the beginning, have not had much of an attraction for my wife. However, after having 2 kids, my wife gained a lot of weight and now I have absolutely no attraction to her. I spoke to her about th...

GS says: “Not without your sponsor and not before you get to step 9. And - not until you have read everything the Big Book, the '12 and 12', and what the White Book say about disclosures.” Dan says: “I have been in the rooms for about 8 years. I haven't seen anyone wi...

Question: I am a frum woman and my situation is as follows. Two and a half years ago I left my sex addict (now ex-) husband. He is a charismatic, fun-loving man, as I like to say, "the nicest man you will ever meet." His interests were porn and voyeurism. He was extreme...

Something isn’t right–at least, that is what your heart is telling you. But there seems to be no evidence to support your feeling. “He’s a great guy,” you remind yourself. “He’s just working hard to provide for our family. He’s stressed and he’s tired, and that’s all it i...

I am a recovering SAnon (wife of a sex addict). I don't have any groundbreaking advice, but this is my take on the issue of Meetings conflicting with Sholom Bais based on my experience. This situation is very typical. SAnon rooms are very small in comparison to SA. M...

Dearest Chani, It is extremely difficult for me to write this to you. But it is harder not to. Lately, I feel that my perceived dishonesty and hiding is creating tension in our marriage, sort of a rift between us, and rightly so. A good marriage must be built on a solid f...

Being misunderstood creates the frustration, shame, or anger that we have all felt at one time or another. Communicating our passions, whether intellectual or emotional, feels almost impossible when we're misperceived, especially when the relationship stakes are high. Arg...

I contend it only takes one… Evidence shows that it only takes one person to ruin a relationship – one selfish person. Now, I realize that everyone is selfish to one degree or another. The type of selfishness that ruins relationships is the one that frequently disregards ...

Dear Crossroads, Excellent question. It seems that overall you are working on yourself and doing well, but you are still struggling with occasional falls. You should know that there is almost never such a thing as an "overcharged libido" by nature. Rather, our sages tell ...

Testimony from Hearing on Pornography's Impact on Family and Marriage Beginning pornography use associated with increase in probability of divorce

GYE Member asks: Having a sexual relationship with a woman not married to you is considered bad. Hooking up with a prostitute is a dirty act. Having a sexual relationship with a mom is horrific.Having a sexual relationship with a minor is just as bad.Having a sexual relat...

Dear GYE, 4 and a half years ago my wife "caught" me looking at pornography by randomly checking our browser history. I was happily married at the time with a son, and a daughter on the way but I had simply slipped easily back into by adolescent ways, easy as that. The ...

Covenant Eyes | I need to be honest, I was reluctant to share my story publicly. Reluctant because women don’t struggle with porn, right? The Internet was not accessible for me when I was a teenager. It hadn’t yet infiltrated every aspect of our daily lives. I had no ac...