I made an appointment with Mrs. Cohen to finalize the invitations for the shul dinner. The last time I was in her office she was dressed perfectly modestly. Nevertheless, I knew I had to take precautions to control my eyes.
But as I thought about going back again tomorrow, I decided that I should be able to do even better this time. After all, lately I've been sensitized to the laws of Shmirat Einayim and I'm working hard to keep my thoughts under control as well.
I took an honest look at how I would approach our meeting. She always dresses appropriately and there is something in her manner that is poised and dignified. That alone makes it easier for my thoughts concerning her to remain pure. So before going, I will review the laws and consciously have them in mind. I'm pretty sure that I can work with her "person to person," not male to female, keeping my mind focused on the task at hand.
This gives me a great feeling of control. Knowing that I can actually confront my nature and deal with it effectively has given me the confidence to deal with a situation like this. Good planning keeps me relaxed and upbeat. I feel a sense of integrity I never felt before.
It's like Dave said at the outset - little by little, all of this Mussar and Torah study is beginning to seep into my life. It still takes a lot of effort, but I'm beginning to see real progress.
These e-mails are excerpts taken from the book "Windows of the Soul" by Rabbi Zvi Miller of the Salant Foundation.