The Library

An idea by "Bardichev" It's before Rosh Hashana. Can we completely change our ways? That is doubtful. But we CAN start with small steps. As Bardichev wrote on this thread called "Kabalos for the New Year": LET'S MAKE A SMALL KABBALLA, BUT A HONEST K...

A Bochur, who had been clean for many months, wrote: I had a fall recently, and afterwards I gave some thought to my general direction. I realized that although I feel that I've pretty much broken the HABIT, I need a stronger commitment to keep myself stro...

My journey to recovery is a beautiful journey. I have realized that we need to find the good in everything. Even in a situation where I have the urge to fall or slip, I stop myself and say: "I know what's happening here, and I'm not gonna fall for it.Hashem loves me and t...

Going to a Mikva every day is a very strong protection against sexual sin and desire. If this is too difficult for you, make sure to go at least when you fall. Imagine this. If the waters of the Mikva can make a non-Jew (who wants to convert) into a Jew, imagine what they...

R' Leib (Lawrence) Kelemen mentions how at one point, he was forced to plan a trip to Eilat with one of his sons to take care of something there. (He notes that for those unfamiliar with the standards of dress in Eilat, "people there don't walk around wearing winter coats...

I was an addict for thirty years and I was saved through a neder, like a nazir. I believe that a lust addict can be modeled effectively almost as a person with multiple personalities. Usually he believes he is a tzadik, and he feels bad about his "bad habit." When he is s...

We thought we had Yiras Shamayim, but for some reason when we get a lust attack the Yiras Shamayim doesn't seem to work very well. But don't feel bad. It doesn't mean you don't have any Yiras Shamayim. When Rav Yochanan Ben Zakai blessed his students before he died he sai...

How can a person fix all the mistakes he made in the past? How can one undo the damage of shmiras eiynayim and shmiras habris? One of the types of tshuva mentioned in the rishonim is called "tshuvas hamishkal", the "tshuva of weighing." This type of tshuva involves causin...

A dear GYE friend of mine who finds it very difficult to verbally say over the telephone that he fell made the following TaPHSiC Shavuah:Whenever the urge comes, he MUST stall for time. He MUST wait at least 15 minutes before following the Yetzer Horah's directions. (The ...

The Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim Siman 460:2 rules that it is proper for every Jew to take an active part in the baking of the Matzos for use on Pesach. Amongst the reasons for this, the Mishna Berura(in S"K 7) quotes the words of the holy Arizal that "Getting 'into it' ...

TaPhSiC stands for "The Physical & Spiritual Combo" ("TaPhSiC" also means "Stop!" in Hebrew). It is one of the most powerful methods for Frum addicts, and it has helped many addicts stop these destructive behaviors completely. To learn more about this method, see this...

1. G-d speaks with us all the time. 2. There is nothing & no one else but G-d [AIN OD MILVADO]. 3. Therefore, to the extent that we are real with G-d's omnipresence, we will be able to carry on a constant dialogue with G-d. 4. The Holy Baal Shem Tov taught that to the...

Sexual lust can only be kept at bay by avoiding provocative sights and thoughts. Do not enter into negotiations with your desires, for the elaboration of your thoughts, even directed at annulling the desires, will have the effect of reinforcing the desires, and they ca...

Click here to listen to a 10 minute recording explaining the TaPHSiC method and how it works. There are two main stumbling blocks that cause an addict to relapse: 1) Compulsiveness: When under an attack of lust, we feel we need it NOW – and the lust makes us act compulsiv...

Although strengthening our Emunah will often not be enough to break a strong lust-attack or an addiction on its own (see the story of Rav Amram Chassid, Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Meir in Kedushin 80-81), however, a strong Emunah can help push us to take the necessary steps in...

Ok. It does a few things. First and strangest, I owe something to the person I am lusting after because lusting is always an act of "taking". I am using their image for selfish ends. (And saying that "They are obviously begging for it cuz look at how they are dressed!" is...

Here is a little tip that has been working for me, for almost 6 months now. It starts with having someone like a Rav, who you'll really feel ashamed revealing this behaviour to. Second, make a list of things to do if you feel the urge before acting out (the goal being not...

I recently saw a sign in a shul that right after overcoming an urge to look at junk is a tremendous "es ratzon" for tefilos to be answered. This knowledge is a great incentive for me to be misgaber - personally I always say"p'rok yas anach mipum aryevasah v'apek yam ameic...