Who is Boruch? Well, for those of you who are new to our network, we called him "our 12-Step Expert" and we cherished his long and brilliant posts on the forum. Boruch was quoted in tens of Chizuk e-mails in the past, explaining the 12-Step program (most noticeably in e-mails #439 - #450 on this page).
When Boruch first joined our forum, he was thoroughly convinced that the 12-Steps were not for him - or for any of us for that matter. He came onto the forum blasting against the 12-Steps, claiming that they were counter-intuitive and had been born out of another religion, while we Yidden have Chazal who teach us clearly how to do Teshuvah.
Well, one day Boruch broke the news of his addiction to his therapist and was given the suggestion to try the 12-Step groups - just once. Boruch was determined to do all he could to break his addiction, and if that was what his therapist asked him to do, Boruch agreed to try it.
Today, Boruch has become the most ardent advocate of the 12-Steps and is working them into his life through the groups with a passion.
Boruch is extremely intelligent and also a big Talmid Chacham, so we asked him to lead a group of members on our network and teach them how to implement the 12-Steps into their lives.
Here is Boruch's inspiring post on the forum:
Shalom All,
It is fantastic after such a prolonged absence to be able to come back here to GYE where everything started for me. B"H today I have 147 days of sobriety and here is the miracle Hashem has done for me:
I joined Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) 137 days ago and I knew then that I was mentally and physically sick. My wife and I had been seeing therapists on and off for 12 years. I was on medication and was going regularly to a counselor for therapy. My wife suffered from serious depression and she too was going to therapy. We had tried going to the same therapist but her therapist had thrown me out and so I had to get my own.
I was seriously overweight. I was down in weight from my all time high but I was eating crazier than ever, going from fasting to binging on the same day and I suffered from high blood pressure. My sleeping was all over the map. Even after I was sober and had stopped acting out I would stay up at least two entire nights every week only to go to work feeling half dead and stay at work the entire day and late into the next night until I would collapse.
My life had ground to a halt amid severe financial paranoia. I was unable to get involved with money at all. I had not recorded at all of any of the checks I had written over the last two to three years. On a daily basis, I was totally unaware of my bank balance and would write checks anyway. I had no concept of how much money I owed Credit Card companies. I was chronically late in paying bills, including credit card bills. The simplest tasks that in minutes would have moved desperately needed money into my bank account to prevent overdraft charges were totally beyond my reach, and in the space of a few months I had racked up a thousand dollars in overdraft fees alone. I ran a small online business on the side that had promise, but I had just totally stopped processing any of the sales. At work I had also ground to a halt.
Therapy for both myself and my wife was going nowhere. We were totally stuck. I needed an absolute miracle to recover and so did she.
But I never joined SA for any of that, I did not and could not have believed that SA could help me in those areas. I joined SA for one reason only - I wanted to get sober from my addiction. I never knew that Hashem would guide me to an SA sponsor who would take me several times through all 12 Steps of SA. I never dreamed that after doing my hishtadlus (effort) in following my sponsor's guidance on Step Taking,I would experience the miracle of Hashem's healing in a way that I could never have imagined.
Today, 137 days later, I am off medication and have never felt better. With the guidance of my SA sponsor and the blessing of my therapist, I no longer need therapy and I am calmer and happier than I have ever been. After I was 65 days in SA, I disclosed my addiction to my wife and she joined S-Anon and later changed therapists at the recommendation of a fellow S-Anon member. Be'Chasdei Hashem her depression has lifted and last week she had her last therapy session with the blessing of her new therapist, and we are now - one day at a time - getting closer to each other than we have ever been.
Today, without any struggling at all, I eat three full nutritious and balanced meals a day and I have lost over 25 lbs since 3 days before Pesach, for a total loss of over a full quarter of my body weight, from my all-time high of 225 lb over a year ago. My blood pressure is now text-book 120 over 80. And as a rule, Boruch Hashem, I now get a decent night's sleep every night of the week.
Today, for the first time ever, my wife and I have a daily record-keeping of everything we spend and earn. I know exactly how much I owe and to whom. With Hashem's help, one day at a time, we are now working towards earning wiser, spending wiser and with Hashem's bracha we are working on becoming debt-free.
But most importantly for me, life is no longer about me. Life is now about my wife, my children, and everyone else around me. Hashem has blessed me with three wonderful SA sponsees with whom I have been fortunate to share the life-giving message I got from my sponsor.Having shared my sponsor's message with three others, I am now back here on this forum to share my sponsor's message with anyone out there who cares to listen.
Even if I am the only one listening, that is fine for me, because even though I have gotten so much - so soon, it is so good that I just can't get enough of it --- I just have to keep coming back for more...