The Library

I came to this site by accident, of sorts. Yes, there were several decades of filth and smut in my days, but I always stopped, at least for a week or two, or more. Recovery and lack thereof did not consume my life. I was fine with the pattern. Of course, yamim noraim (m...

I am 50 years old, married, and in recovery for four years. I had been addicted to porn since my early teens, but didn't realize that I had a problem with it until my late 20's. By my late 30's I realized that I had a serious problem, but it wasn't until my mid 40's tha...

I am a 30 year-old Chassidic man who learns in kollel. Ever since I can remember, I have always been obsessed with desire for women of every type, denomination and variation. Over the years, I would masturbate in hiding. Gradually, it got worse and I started getting invol...

Hello, GYE! I'm so excited for having reached this point and experiencing the cleanest, most honest and most growing 3 months in my entire life, or whatever I called "life" before now. Death, perhaps. What helped me? The forum. The dedicated, constant posters, moderator...

An email we received from a wife, Jan 1, 2016: My husband is in a leadership position in our community. We are currently married 20+ years. The "perfect" couple, totally "in love." In year 16, i caught him with porn. He confessed, wanted to get out, but didn’t know how...

I’m starting school again tomorrow - very nervous, anxious and afraid despite the fact that I left on a really good note. I decided to take some time out and reaffirm to myself who I am and what I’m doing here. I also have a colleague who I have to work closely with but...

I've been on Guard Your Eyes for some time now, working on myself and my shmirat Einayim. Over the past 5 years, I have had over 3 years clean. However, that mean I have been falling for at least 2 years. But I never give up. After every fall and relapse, no matter how ma...

I have close to 9 months sobriety, and I want to share this true story with you. I had a job interview today, and, at the end of the interview, the CEO of the company gave me the job. The job is due to start next week. I was really up for taking him up on the offer, u...

Dear Chaveirim, Lag Ba'Omer is a wonderful day on the Jewish calendar. For me, it is a very special milestone, as I am now, as of Lag Ba'Omer 5776, seven years clean, b'Ezras Hashem. I have had amazing Hashgacha regarding my anniversary dates. The day when I was three...

My words cannot express the amount of agony, angst, joy, and pressure leading up to this day. The smoke has begun to clear, and another 90 days are barely seen in the distance. But, I can proudly say that I have walked up this hill with full efforts, 'all in'! The only w...

It's now been a full year!!! I can't believe it. It's been some journey. My emotions are mixed and powerful. I joined this holy forum 1 year ago as a broken fellow - engaging in pornography and phone sex from time to time. Masturbation was not a problem - but oh my!...

Dear GYE, I am 32 years old, and this struggle has brought me to places in the last few years that I do not want to mention. I WAS FIGHTING EVERYDAY, ASKING MYSELF “AM I NORMAL OR NOT?” But B"H, thanks to GuardYourEyes, I am almost 5 months clean today. A few weeks into...

I slipped during last summer on a trip to Las Vegas. At every level of this disease, when you fall you fall at a higher level and its easier to cope and get back up. (Sheva Yipol Tzaddik V'kom - a Tzaddik falls seven times and gets up again). I had stopped going to m...

I usually feel like I'm not getting anywhere in recovery. However, I recently celebrated a year of sobriety, which gave me a chance to look back and see that I really have made some progress. I have actually been on the road to recovery for about three years. I started as...

I am held up as an example of excellence in learning and davening, all the while holding a demanding job. Of course, no one knows about what I REALLY do. I am not a fraud, by the way. I am always upset after falling, and resolve to stop. It's just that I cannot seem to st...

I grew up in a Modern Orthodox home. During my childhood, I spent many hours in front of a television and watching movies which exposed me to a constant barrage of sensual images. In high school, I was able to access movies of a very explicit nature and I became obsessed ...

I have been a regular caller on the GYE phone conference for the past six months.Without hesitation I can state that had my husband and I not found GYE, and fully committed ourselves to embracing and diligently working the GYE/SANON program, we would not be currently ...

As my wedding day approaches, I feel it as an obligation to tell you a bit of my story and how GYE came to the rescue and brought me to where I am now. I would like to fill you in on a bit of my story briefly so that you understand where I'm coming from. I was born and ra...