Q. Anybody with a normal sex drive and no outlet for it will masturbate. Man or Woman! I once went without masturbating for about a month…toward the end of that month I thought I was going to rape someone. Even while studying Torah I had the urge. The more you deny it the more it affects you. All of that tension just builds up. It's downright cruel to have a sexual drive and then seeing beautiful women and having no outlet for it. Also, recent medical studies that say frequent ejaculation prevents a build up of cancer causing chemicals. Yes, it's good to masturbate believe it or not!
A. A non-religious man once told the Brisker Rav that he doesn't believe in G-d because he has many questions. The brisker Rav told him, "you don't have questions, you have answers".
So my friend, if these questions you ask are really "answers" to why you aren't working on yourself, then there is no real hope for you. But if you genuinely have questions in the hope of one day achieving the purity that G-d asks of us, then you will be able to find answers.
For starters, let me say that all scientific studies are irrelevant to the Torah and to Chaza"l. This is for two reasons.
1) G-d made us, so he knows what is best for us. Chaza"l and the Torah know better than scientists what is good for a person and what is not.
2) Secondly, even if masturbating would be proven beyond doubt to be good for your health, we Jews have been giving up our very lives for G-d for thousands of years, all the more so should we be willing to give up some obscure, vague and improbable health benefit, such as getting rid of some cancer causing chemicals.
Also I beg to disagree with your assertion that the tension builds up to an explosion point. Here are some very important words of Chaza"l to remember: "There is a small organ in a man. When it is well-fed, it is hungry. When it is starved, it is satiated". The less you use it, the less you need it.
Please see as well this Q&A on the FAQ page of www.guardureyes.com: