The missing ingredient for us frum guys to recover is not the "l'shem Shomayim" part. We know that idea already (though we are so upset at how we fail to put it into action, still doing crazy aveiros on a regular basis, etc.).
The one definite missing ingredient for me (and per AA, for many other addicts) was the "l'shem Atzmi"! Enlightened self-interest, as AA puts it.
I always thought that the struggle of lust was between my doing what Hashem wants me to do, or not doing it.
I never got better that way.
I see now that I was completely wrong.
When Hashem brought "kol mageifosai el libecha", I got the missing ingredient. I began to actually do what is best for me, for a change. And since then, I've been getting closer to Him than ever!
In recovery, the struggle of lust is actually being good to myself vs. punishing myself. It's a self-centered affair, really.
As Dovid Hamelech said, "Ainai tamid el hashem, ki hu yotzi mereshes raglai - my eyes are always to Hashem, for He will extract my feet from the trap".
I attach myself to Hashem because he saves me.... enlightened self-interest is not such a bad thing, it seems. (Especially if you are shayach to malchus, like Dovid Hamelech, who recognized that he has nothing of his own anyway).
Once I have a "me", I can give that "me" to Hashem.... not before. And I give Him most of the credit for getting me there, and keeping me there.
I hope this is a bit clearer. Do you see how it's the same thing I was always saying? My very first post on GYE was about this, too.