We're up to Chapter 4 in the Big Book called "We Agnostics". The first time I read this Chapter, I was really offended and thought it a complete waste of time to be reading about - "We Agnostics." The nerve of them (and my sponsor) to even suggest that I - a very Frum Yid - adherent to religious principles and practices -Shomer Torah & Mitzvos - Supporter of Torah Institutions - Treasurer of the Kollel - that I needed to read this chapter! I thought that I could skip it. How could I ever doubt the existence of G-d? Or that my knowledge of Him is limited to my experience?
Then I started looking at my disease and the way that I was so self-centered and manipulative - and how resentful I would get when things didn't go my way. And it dawned on me that I was living in Two Worlds.
One World was full of G-d - my Frum world. I davened three times a day - plus all my brachos before eating, - my wearing a tallis and tefillin. This was a world full of acts of being Frum - and to the outside observer, there was no question I was Frum.
But what about that other World that I lived in? That Kingdom of Duvid Chaim - where I was the ruler and if anyone got out-of-line, then off with their head. This was MY World, full of personal pleasure; where everything and everyone was there to serve me.
In MY World, there is so much of me that there certainly isn't any room for G-d!!
In My World, G-d does not exist. And my knowledge of life is ALL ABOUT my experiences in it. I am the center of the Universe. In fact, I AM THE UNIVERSE!
Please join us on the call as we continue to explore the important messages in this Chapter. And with G-d's help, we will finally find our way Home; our way back to Father in Heaven.