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Battle Strategy

Sunday, 08 April 2012
Part 3/3 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

The Rosh Yeshiva expounds on the parable for Yerachmiel:

The "two neighboring kingdoms" are our Yetzer Hara and our Yetzer Tov. One bright day, the Yetzer Hara decided to try and conquer you with a surprise attack of sexual arousals and fantasies - precisely at a time when you least expected it, as you were involved in learning in Yeshiva and were full of desire to get stronger and become uplifted in Torah and Middos.

When the Yetzer succeeded to make you stumble, instead of recovering right away and returning a valiant fight, you started blaming yourself that you let him win, and you sunk into self-pity and hopelessness. And this is exactly what let the Yetzer Hara continue to overpower you, until you finally surrendered to him unconditionally. This is just like those individuals in the parable who attempted an incursion into the enemy's territory that was bound to fail from the start.

But now you can start to act with wisdom, and instead of trying to conquer the entire territory right away - after all, you yourself understood that that won't work - try and conquer for yourself a small territory, but one that you will be sure you can maintain defense over it well. And then, slowly but surely you will make progress, until you will succeed to conquer everything back. Does this sound doable and reasonable to you?

"Y-yes" answered Yerachmiel, hesitantly. "But how do I do this?"

"The key is in your hands" I answered. "Tell me, from all the many temptations that you are tested with, which temptation would be relatively the easiest for you to overcome? I ask this even though I understand that even the smallest temptation, when it is facing you, is difficult to bear".

Yerachmiel, who wasn't ready for this question, thought for a few moments and then answered: "I think the easiest for me to overcome would be to undertake not to be with other boys".

Are you ready to take this upon yourself, that no matter what - and no matter how you feel, from now on you will not transgress the serious prohibition of homosexual relations? Are you able to undertake that on this one thing the Yetzer Hara will not overpower you?"

"Yes, Rebbe" answered Yerachmiel determinedly, "I am ready to take this upon myself fully".

"Wonderful" I answered, "you have just taken a big step. You have succeeded in conquering a small territory that your Yetzer will not be able to enter.

Now as you surely know, in a war - like in all wars, after conquering a territory one must barricade it well to assure that the enemy can't penetrate. Only after the territory is well fortified will it be possible to continue on from there and conquer additional territory.

Do you understand what you have actually done now? You have changed your strategy. Instead of conquering the entire territory, which everyone understands is impossible at this stage - and would only cause you to sink into depression and hopelessness, you have decided with wisdom, to conquer a relatively small area that you know almost certainly that you will be able to maintain vigilant guard over. And after you have succeeded in this mission - and you will succeed G-d willing, your self esteem will become strengthened, and you will see that this enemy is not undefeatable after all. And through conquering this one area, you will be able to make additional territorial gains.

"So we're clear Yerachmiel?" And I repeated again for emphasis: "for the time being you will focus only on guarding and fortifying this new territory you have conquered, without thinking about other territories at all. And this alone will be a big win for you."

Yerachmiel's countenance reflected that a big burden had been lifted from his shoulders. We set a regular time to meet in my office - once every two weeks. Yerachmiel's hand was already on the door when I said to him: "You should already know by now that I won't let you leave without your wonderful smile!". Yerachmiel smiled sheepishly, left the room and closed the door behind him.

 

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