The Library

Porn ruined you. Ruined us. When people asked, shocked, how I could leave such a funny, clever man, father of my children – “a good earner” as my mother put it – what could I say? I said it was me. My fault. I’d changed. Only it wasn’t me. It was your love of porn that s...

Realize the effect masturbating has. This will be different for every person. For me, immediately I’m high, drunk, lost inside myself. Self-pleasure is mine, mine, mine. It leads me to sexualise every person that crosses my path. No longer are they human, they’re w...

Miriam will be doing a call for spouses (of addicts) every Sunday at 2pm EST and 9pm Israel time. This is to enable women in Israel to join as well (since Malka's calls are too late for people living in Israel). For more information, see this page or contact Miriam at: ...

All living creatures have no shame, with the exception of human beings. When we have intellect we understand the concept of shame. When we don’t use our intellect as human beings (behaving like animals) we have no shame. The trait of shame is a boundary to protect us fr...

Dear Balancing, The balance between controlling and stepping back is a tough one for the spouse of an addict. You may want to discuss this more in depth with our spouse experts (see this page). You could perhaps simply ask your husband straight out if he feels eBay is...

Porn Talk is Common in Middle School Brian was exceptionally open with me about his personal experiences with pornography. He was exposed to pornography (in the form of scantily dressed sexualized females) at age 9. When he was 11, friends told him about '***', a term he ...

Being in a relationship with a sex addict does bring up the question of do I stay or leave? These questions are legitimate. In this exercise, I want to expose you to some options you may or may not have thought of before. 1. Stay and stay sick - This option is taken by ...

As with any addiction, the denial of sex addiction is a powerful obstacle to recovery. Sex addiction recovery has been described as a grief process. When we let go of an addictive drug or behavior we are letting go of a coping skill that has served us well in the past. T...

No one can deny that pornography is not aimed to be watched by children. It builds an unhealthy and unrealistic image of sexual relationships and, if seen at the age of 12 and younger, can be a cause of kids growing up as sex addicts and sexual deviants. In this article ...

There are different ways that parents praise their children when they are being really good. One compliment I often hear parents give is: "you are such an angel." We use this form of praise because in our minds we have an image of angels as perfect holy beings that nev...

Is It Helping or Enabling? You see a disheveled person asking for tzedakka: Is he an alcoholic or drug addict, or just a person down on his luck and in need of a helping hand? Your friend asks you to help him find a job, but to tell the truth, you don’t think your...

The man in my office was beside himself. He had been seeing me for the past few weeks and made significant strides in recovering from his porn addiction. His path was not easy, but nevertheless rewarding – he had to face brutal realizations about himself and re-order hi...

While a woman does not have the same physical stamp of the brit (circumcision) as a Jewish man, she must also carefully strive to live a life of sexual purity in accordance with the guidelines of our Sages. Just as with a man, she has an anatomical counterpart to the spir...

Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski wrote to GYE: Dear Yakov: A wife said that Elya Katz recommends a week of intensive therapy at a rehab. Her husband's addiction is to porn and masturbation. Is this advisable/necessary? Twerski We responded: I believe I know who the Rav ...

Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski wrote to GYE: I received a call from a mother who found her 15 yr old son watching porn What do you recommend for this age group Twerski We responded: Dear Rabbi Twerski, We have a special page for teens on our website over here. Here a...

Many partners early in recovery don't believe they have any problems of their own. It is the sex addict who has all the problems, not them. Granted, his addiction is usually more devastating and definitely the priority early on for the couple's survival. It takes a while,...

I have been a regular caller on the GYE phone conference for the past six months.Without hesitation I can state that had my husband and I not found GYE, and fully committed ourselves to embracing and diligently working the GYE/SANON program, we would not be currently ...

As my wedding day approaches, I feel it as an obligation to tell you a bit of my story and how GYE came to the rescue and brought me to where I am now. I would like to fill you in on a bit of my story briefly so that you understand where I'm coming from. I was born and ra...