Chapter 23- True Greatness
The Torah tells us (Shemos 6:25) that Elazar the son of Aharon Hakohen married a daughter of Putiel, and she gave birth to Pinchas. The Ramban (on Shemos 6:23) comments that the Torah tells us whom Elazar married to bring honor to Pinchas that his lineage can be traced back to Putiel. The Ramban explains (based on Sotah 43a) that Putiel descended from two great people. One was Yosef Hatzaddik, who belittled (from the Hebrew word “Pitpet”) his yetzer hara when Potifar’s wife tried to seduce him. The other was Yisro, who fattened calves (from the Hebrew word “Pitem”) to be brought as sacrifices to idols.
This statement seems quite perplexing. We can understand the prestige of being a descendant of Yosef, but how did it bring honor to Pinchas that his grandfather Yisro fattened cows for avoda zara? That is something to be embarrassed about, not proud of!
Rabbi Yehuda Jacobson answers that the Torah’s praise obviously isn’t that Yisro fattened calves for avoda zara. Rather, the praise is that he changed himself. Yisro went from being the high priest of idol worship to discovering Hashem. Thus, mentioning that Yisro had been an idol worshiper is true praise because of how far he had come since then.
The true measure of greatness is how much we have exerted ourselves to change, not our current spiritual level. If a person is on a high level but did not improve to get there, what has he really accomplished? What does he have to be proud of? He has not grown and is not truly great, even if it looks like he is. What is there to be impressed with? He just followed his instincts and did what he was inclined to do. Of course he will be rewarded for what he has accomplished, but he has not reached true greatness. Only one who overcomes obstacles to change himself can be considered great. Changing ourselves is the point of life!
It takes work to live with this perspective. This is one of the challenges of life. Even people with spiritual perspectives — people who don’t believe that success or significance should be measured by lineage, money, or occupation — are still impressed by those who look so religious and learn long hours. And being religious and learning long hours definitely is great! We are supposed to respect those who are on high levels in this world. But the true measure of success is what the person has accomplished with what he was given. How much did he change? What major spiritual obstacles did he overcome?
These obstacles can range from being challenged with desire to growing up among friends who preach the wrong values. It can consist of having to battle through extreme hardship and emotional pain that challenges one’s faith. It can be having a tranquil life so the person never thinks about life or feels the need to accomplish. It can be wealth or it can be poverty. Everything is a challenge in its own way (Mesillas Yesharim, Chapter 1). The measure of a man is how much he succeeds despite the challenges that try to drag him down.
Hashem does not judge people based on outward success. He does not say, “You are a tzaddik because I created you with a righteous family and good character traits, while the other guy is a rasha because I gave him desires and challenges.” That would be silly. Do you really think the fair and true Judge would do that?
Hashem gives each person a unique situation in life. Everyone is challenged, but some people get more obstacles and some get less. Some generations are challenged more than others. We can’t understand why each person receives his situation, but we know that Hashem gives each person the challenges that are best for him. These challenges are his specific mission. Though it might not seem fair even from a spiritual perspective when some people have it easy while others must struggle, in reality Hashem chose the best life-setting for each person. Some people seem disadvantaged physically and others spiritually, but it all makes sense when we remember that the point of this world is for man to accomplish and earn the greatest pleasure in the next world. Hashem gives each person the life that is best for him. Hashem challenges each person differently, and He judges each person’s actions based on the situation he was given.
This should make us get up and dance! We are not judged against the accomplishments of anyone else. We are judged based on what we do with our tendencies and challenges.