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The 'Nachas Ruach' Treatment Model
Excerpts from "Nachas Ruach: Torah-Based Psychotherapy and Tools for Growth and Healing"
Preface:
A Way Out of Addiction for Orthodox Jews?
From Internet addiction to marital and family problems, from "teens at risk" to the psychological challenges facing those who are frum from birth and baalei teshuvah, today's changing world can be a confusing one. The religious Jewish community is also not immune to many sensitive contemporary issues, which can no longer be ignored. Yet sadly, some people who need psychological advice refrain from seeking it, believing that contemporary psychology and psychiatry are antagonistic to Yiddishkeit.
This important work by well-known therapist Dr. Naftali Fish offers a solid conceptual framework for understanding the relationship between Torah and psychology - including the Twelve Step program - showing clearly where they are compatible and where they are not. Dr. Fish is uniquely qualified to bridge this gap, as an Orthodox Jew grounded in Torah Judaism and the wisdom of our sages, and as a licensed clinical psychologist living in Jerusalem, with over twenty-five years' experience working with a variety of clinical issues, including the treatment of addictions and healing the inner wounded child. Here he presents the Nachas Ruach Treatment Model (NRTM), an innovative, effective approach that integrates Torah values and spirituality within the context of professional psychotherapy and hypnotherapy, as illustrated by intriguing case studies.
This book is a must-read for all professionals in the field of mental health, as well as for rabbis, educators, students studying psychology, and educated lay readers. Blending theory and practice, this book also provides practical tools and exercises for personal growth that anyone can gain from in their daily lives.
Preface:
A Way Out of Addiction for Orthodox Jews?
From Internet addiction to marital and family problems, from "teens at risk" to the psychological challenges facing those who are frum from birth and baalei teshuvah, today's changing world can be a confusing one. The religious Jewish community is also not immune to many sensitive contemporary issues, which can no longer be ignored. Yet sadly, some people who need psychological advice refrain from seeking it, believing that contemporary psychology and psychiatry are antagonistic to Yiddishkeit.
This important work by well-known therapist Dr. Naftali Fish offers a solid conceptual framework for understanding the relationship between Torah and psychology - including the Twelve Step program - showing clearly where they are compatible and where they are not. Dr. Fish is uniquely qualified to bridge this gap, as an Orthodox Jew grounded in Torah Judaism and the wisdom of our sages, and as a licensed clinical psychologist living in Jerusalem, with over twenty-five years' experience working with a variety of clinical issues, including the treatment of addictions and healing the inner wounded child. Here he presents the Nachas Ruach Treatment Model (NRTM), an innovative, effective approach that integrates Torah values and spirituality within the context of professional psychotherapy and hypnotherapy, as illustrated by intriguing case studies.
This book is a must-read for all professionals in the field of mental health, as well as for rabbis, educators, students studying psychology, and educated lay readers. Blending theory and practice, this book also provides practical tools and exercises for personal growth that anyone can gain from in their daily lives.
"The Third Step"
"We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him."[1]
While the second step talks about coming to believe, the third step requires the addict to make a commitment to "surrender or turn his life over to God as we understand Him." In the prevailing secular outlook of modern Western society, this is a very significant decision. Every day an observant Jew makes this commitment when he closes his eyes and says, with the intention to accept Hashem's sovereignty: שמע ישראל ה' אלוקינו ה' אחד - "Hear, O Israel: Hashem is Our God, Hashem the One and Only" (Deuteronomy 6:4).
For many Orthodox Jewish addicts, the initial motivation to deal with their addiction was experienced as a conflict with their commitment to halachah and a Torah lifestyle. This is true for "classical addictions" such as substance abuse and gambling, as well as with more "contemporary addictions" such as various forms of Internet addiction, including pornography and online chatting.
The Torah describes the nazir, who has made a commitment to abstain from wine after he becoming aware that he was at risk for abusing alcohol: איש או אשה כי יפליא לנדר נדר נזיר להזיר לה', "A man or woman who shall separate himself or herself by taking a Nazirite vow of abstinence, for the sake of Hashem" (Numbers 6:2). Rashi comments on the words "for the sake of Hashem," that the nazir is motivated to separate himself from wine for the sake of Heaven.
A Torah source for "turning over our will and our lives" to the care of God is: גול על ה' דרכך ובטח עליו והוא יעשה, "Turn your way over to Hashem, rely on Him and He will act"(Psalms37:5). On the beginning of this verse, Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch comments that the word gol ((גול actually means to remove a burden that is too heavy to carry. One must not refrain from a good endeavor because it seems to be beyond his meager strength. We have an omnipotent helper in God. We must do our utmost and then we can rely upon God to do the rest."[2]
[1] Ibid., p. 24.
[2] Artscroll Book of Psalms with Commentary (New York: Mesorah Publications, 2001), p. 96.
In practical terms, the Twelve Step program involves applying this commitment to the struggles of daily living and encourages one in recovery to act in a way that is basically opposite to his former coping style and mode of addictive thinking. This means that if his sponsor, who represents the program, advises him to do "B" when the addict stubbornly and with false confidence wants to do "A," the addict will still "turn over" his understanding and do what the sponsor recommends and not what he originally wanted to do.
In the Torah we see this principle clearly in the Mishnah taught in Pirkei Avos 2:4: עשה רצונו כרצונך ... בטל רצונך מפני רצונ, "Do His will as if it were your own will...Nullify your will before His will."
In stressing that the addict should live a life that is more "God centered" and less "self-centered," the program strongly advances the concept to "let go...and let God in." This is in contrast to the overemphasis that modern Western culture places on being in control and expecting reality to be exactly what you want it to be all the time. Contemporary man is also conditioned through the media, for example, to believe that it is terrible not to feel "the way you would like to." He is encouraged to try to change his mood by taking a mood altering substance or having some type of experience that can become addictive that will also lead to changing one's inner state. From this kind of social conditioning, it is not surprising that so many people start to drink or smoke or become involved in Internet addictions.
The innovation of the Twelve Steps was to stress the importance of learning to accept reality as it is, and from this place "not to pick up." The program teaches this from a spiritual perspective. It stresses belief in a Higher Power, and beyond this, a view that recognizes that the Higher Power is actively involved in one's life. In practical terms for the addict,this means to "let go" of what he expects and thinks he needs and to learn to accept that whatever happens to him is a reflection of God's will at that moment.
In this context, the "serenity prayer" utilized in group meetings is balanced, where one asks for "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."[1]
[1]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer
The concept of Divine providence (hashgachah pratis), which is implied in the phrase "let go... and let God in," is a fundamental belief of the Torah perspective, as emphasized in the first of Rambam's Thirteen Principles of Faith: "I believe with complete faith that the Creator, Blessed is His Name, creates and guides all creatures, and that He alone made, makes, and will make everything."[1]
Having faith (emunah) and trust (bitachon) in God also teaches a Jew to accept life and not expect to be in control all the time. For example, David HaMelech wrote in Psalms (16:8): שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד, "I have placed Hashem before me always." According to the Baal Shem Tov, the verb shiviti ("I have placed") is an expression of equanimity. With this interpretation, the Baal Shem Tov taught that ultimately a person should strive to react to whatever happens to him with equanimity. A Jew accepts that what happens to him is an expression of Hashem's will.[2] Obviously, this is a difficult spiritual level to attain. Recovering addicts "really working the program" are able to internalize and apply this spiritual principle.
Another Torah source for "letting go" is the verse: תמים תהיה עם ה' אלוקיך, "You shall be wholehearted with Hashem, your God" (Deuteronomy 18:13). On this Rashi says: "Have pure faith in Hashem and do not try to search out the future; rather accept what happens and then you will be His."
An important difference between the Torah perspective and that of the Twelve Steps is that Torah belief and faith is not based on each individual coming up with his own understanding of God. This part of the Twelve Step programis compatible with the great emphasis placed in modern Western culture on each individual determining what is right and wrong for him and not accepting outside authority. From a Torah perspective, however, this part of the program leaves open the possibility and concern that a recovering addict could worship the Higher Power in a manner that would not be acceptable to Judaism. For example, theoretically a person could understand the Higher Power in a way that would be considered avodah zarah (idol worship) by the Torah.
On the other hand, the Torah recognizes and values that each individual can have his own unique experience of understanding Hashem. For example, the first verse of the Ten Commandments - "I am the Lord, your God" - is understood by the Rabbis to mean that Hashem spoke to each individual on his own level, because the phrase "your God" is written in the singular rather than in the plural tense. Also, at the crossing of the Red Sea, each individual had his own perception of God, as we see in the song at the crossing of the Red Sea: זה קלי ואנוהו, "This is my God and I will glorify Him" (Exodus 15:2).
Based on my professional experience, I have seen that some Jewish addicts, often those who were not religious before going into the Twelve Step program, are subtly blocked by the program's stress on faith alone, believing that this is enough and it's not necessary for them to observe mitzvos. Others, usually FFBs, ultimately become more observant through the working the program; ironically, the Twelve Step program brings them closer to Torah observance. In Torah, the challenge is for each individual to develop a personal relationship with Hashem within the framework of halachah.
[1] Rambam's commentary on the Mishnah, Sanhedrin, ch. 10.
[2] Tzavaat Harivash, The Testament of Rabbi Israel Baal Shem Tov, p. 4