Chapter 38- Guidance and Proper Balance in Protecting Ourselves from Desire
Taking the concept of limiting our exposure to desire too far can be quite dangerous. If a person takes staying away from desire to levels that are unhealthy for him, he can seriously damage himself.
One example of this is if a person would become paranoid that everything he does somehow increases his ability to sin. He might beat himself up for every desire and challenge he faces, saying his urges are all his fault because he somehow should have expected the challenge and acted differently. Obviously, taking such an attitude would cause a person to be quite down. He would be at risk of falling into a dangerous cycle of failure and depression. Rather than having unreasonable expectations of himself, one should just try his best and not beat himself up if he didn’t anticipate that his decision would lead to a nisayon. He should learn from what happened for future reference and do his best to win the challenges that Hashem gives him.
In addition, if a person takes shielding himself from desire too far for himself, he might cut himself off from too many activities he enjoys. This can cause various consequences that are mostly beyond the scope of this book.
A person needs some activities he can do to enjoy himself when he needs it. Unless he has reached the level that he is thrilled with learning all day and not doing anything else even during bein hazmanim, there will be times when he needs to do something fun. Most people need to have some fun on a consistent basis to function their best.
To make the right decisions, we desperately need a Rebbe who understands us and will guide us based on what we need (rather than with answers that were formed without factoring for our situation and needs). Different people and different communities need varying levels of protection from desire — there is no one-size-fits-all system — and there is a big risk that we will be either too tough or too lax when we make these decisions. Therefore, we need to find a Rebbe with whom we will be comfortable and with whom we can discuss things openly. He will guide us to find the proper measure.
We must shield ourselves from desire in the correct measure and in a healthy manner. This will ensure that our commitment to maintaining this protection will last and that we will be in optimal form to fight our yetzer hara in the battle of the generation.
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