"Kedusha" is one of GYE's most active members. He is always looking for ways to help promote GYE in the religious world, and to help other members grow. Just today, he posted a new incentive to help struggling members reach 90 days (see this post). And he was also the one to suggest the $90/90-Day initiative back in Elul (see here). He also recently sponsored some ads in a major Jewish magazine, and he sent letters to the Rabbanim of his community to make them aware of the dangers of the internet and of the work that we are doing in GYE (see here). He has sponsored various ads in the past, and has donated a number of times as well. He is in charge of arranging and encouraging the "Accountability Groups" (see this board) and he helps members find partners and sponsors as well (see this page). He has also tried to get interviews and write ups about GYE in various popular religious news outlets, and although he is not always successful, he never gives up!
If we had another few guys like Kedusha on the forum, GYE would be well known in every Jewish community throughout the world!
THANK YOU, KEDUSHA!
May you continue to be a source of inspiration and strength to us all, and may you go Mechayil El Choyil!
When I discovered GuardYourEyes, my life changed immensely. With the help of the anonymous forum, daily Chizuk e-mails, handbooks and, of course, G-d, I'm no longer ridden with guilt and, therefore, am in a much better position to work on being a good husband and father. Tremendous thanks - from me and my family!
When "Kedusha" first joined he wrote:
I have faced Nisyonos in this area for years. Before Yom Kippur this year, I installed an Internet filter to which only my wife has the password (and if the password gets lost, only she can have it e-mailed to her account, to which I have no access).
I first got the Internet almost 12 years ago, and I stumbled the first day (I had my clean periods, but they never lasted. Instead, I kept doing Teshuva, sinning again, doing Teshuva, sinning again, etc.). I had serious issues before the Internet, as well.
I have been aware of this site for a number of weeks, but only now have I registered. I have read and benefited from a great deal of the wonderful materials that you have to offer, including the newly published.
How did I stay clean for the past 7 days? On the first few days, by counting the hours, then by counting the days. But always concentrating on being clean for one day at a time, and receiving Chizuk from this site. I've been feeling better about myself each day, and appreciating my wife, who I am noticing is far more beautiful than the forbidden images will ever be.
I find that being clean and sober makes it much easier for me to sleep peacefully and wake up rejuvenated. It's hard to put a price on a good night's sleep, which is very important for our physical and mental health. For that alone, it is well worth it for me to stay clean.
Falling in this area robs us of sleep in several ways. First we stay up half the night (or more) viewing pornography and otherwise giving into our y"h. Afterwards, we are feeling too stimulated and/or guilty to fall asleep.
A good night's sleep is just one of the many fringe benefits of sobriety.
Here's an idea: If confronted by the Y"H, politely explain that you don't have time at the moment, but that you would be willing to make an appointment. Take out your calendar and explain that you're all booked for today, but are available at, say 3:00 P.M. tomorrow (I say "tomorrow," because that's consistent with the concept of "one day at a time"). In the meantime, do what you can to strengthen yourself, including getting support from others on or off this forum. Make sure you are in a safe place at the designated time, and apologize profusely, but explain that you need to reschedule again... You get the picture!
I have my filter set to block Google Video and all such video search engines. Even though the filter limits all searches to "Safe-Search," there is no end to the Pritzus that would still be let through. On-line videos are just not for me at all, even for the kosher stuff. It's sort of like going to McDonald's to buy some kosher lettuce and tomatoes!
Yesterday I had to remove a dead bird from my basement. It was quite unpleasant and disgusting. But the feelings of unpleasantness and disgust were short-lived, and I "recovered" pretty quickly. Compare this to when we, chas veshalom, engage in disgusting behavior that affect our Neshama. In that case, the feelings of pain and disgust are much worse, and take much longer to go away. So next time anyone is tempted, just remember: you'd be far better off picking up a dead bird than giving into your temptation!
Note: This reminds me of a story I heard with one of the previous Karliner Rebbe's. He was once served an expensive dish of cooked pigeon. When he felt pulled after the desire, he stopped himself and began to think about all the places the bird hung out, in garbage, in excrement. And he thought about the things the bird ate, worms, insects, until the Rebbe began to gag and pushed away the plate.
I just wanted to share the news that I've decided to aim for a life of pleasure. The question is, how to achieve that? By giving into lust and inappropriate sexual desire? I know from experience that, after experiencing some brief pleasure, I am totally miserable when I do that, and it takes days just to BEGIN recovering.
So, whatever it means to live a life of pleasure, it will require me to stay clean and sober, one day at a time.
I just shared with Guard something remarkable. May 18, 2009, which was day #1 for me, was also the busiest day in the GYE forum history!
As it says: "Most Online Ever: 227 (May 18, 2009, 12:46:26 AM)"
"Fall today? NO WAY!"
"An alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip;
a sexaholic need to avoid that first slip!"