The Library

For those who are unfamiliar with the "family life" of our lively forum, "7Up" is not just a "another" member; she is a phenomenon in and of herself! In her short time with us, she was promoted to "Global Moderator"; has become known as the GYE Rebbitzin; and many of the younger members (like Uri and his "sisters"; Trying, Habib613 and Letakein) call her simply "Mom". She helped transform our forum into a lively, homely and fun place, besides offering priceless wisdom, wit and chizuk to inspire us all (not to mention cake, 7Up, and her favorite food - ice-cream!)...

This e-mail is in 7Up's honor, and we will bring some inspiring posts from her that we can all learn from.

Recently, she became so involved in the forum that it was holding her back in other areas of her life (what can you expect? as they say in AA: "once an addict, always an addict" :-). Her Rebbe suggested that she take a break from the forum for a few weeks, but we're sure she'll return soon. About a week ago, she wrote as follows:

To my dearest GYE family,

I had a meeting with my Rebbe; a wonderful and wise mechanech who was my teacher back in sem and with whom I've kept very close contact.

After hearing everything I had to share with him, he has advised me to take a break from the forum for a little while. This must be part of my cheshbon hanefesh.

I have no words to explain my emotions right now. The last 9 weeks, since joining GuardYourEyes have been probably amongst the most growth oriented in my life. I have gained friends who are really worthy of the name; honest neshamos searching and fighting second by second in order to get closer to their Father in Heaven. It has been an honor to be connected to everyone here on any level at all.

Girls, keep holding each other up. Two new "sisters" have joined, and the fun is just beginning. Through laughter you will beat the "menuval"; he is too busy looking for your tears.

IY"H I wont be gone for too long (as I think I will lose my mind).

May Elul be a time of introspection and growth, and may Hashem embrace your honest teshuva yet today.

With respect, gratitude, and love
7up

Meanwhile, 7Up's spirit remains with us and we have "inside information" that she continues to read the forum and the daily e-mails from behind the scenes (yes, we know you're reading this 7Up)...

A few weeks ago, we created a special avatar for her on the forum:

In honor of her 90th day, we changed it now to this:
(symbolizing the GYE Rebbetzin)

(A special thanks to Mr. B for helping us find these great pictures!)

Please feel free to wish 7Up Mazal Tov on her thread over here.

Her thread was the fastest growing thread on the entire forum!
739 posts in just about 70 days!

739 is the Gematria of "Tishlot" meaning: "you shall be in control"

(Coincidence? I think NOT)

Uri wrote a song in honor of 7Up's big day!
Click here to download the song and read the lyrics.

"Me3" suggested we pronounce today as:
"International 7Up Day"

"Letakein" thinks that we should change the GYE Logo to this:

(the guy on the tightrope is holding a bottle of 7up and some "Nok-out" Israeli ice-cream, in case you can't tell)

Ok, so where did she get the strange name "7Up" from? Well, when she first joined us she called herself "7Yipol" in reference to the Pasuk "Seven times the tzadik falls (yipol) and gets up (ve'kum)". But after a short time with us, everyone insisted that she change her name to "7Up" (ve'Kum). And "get up" she did - taking us all with her!

As the Zohar says, the brightest light comes out of the darkest night, so I would like to bring her very first e-mail below. It was two days after Shavu'os on June 2, exactly 3 months ago from today. She wrote as follows:

Hi. I am desperate. The Yetzer Hara has been working overtime to destroy me! Please, please help me. I can't keep fighting any more. The only thing in my life of any real importance is a close relationship with my Tatte in Shamayim. The more I fall, the further I get from him. I'm dying of loneliness and have no where to turn. Married 24 years with 8 kids doesn't help, only makes the guilt worse.

I have been alone in gehenim for close to 30 years! I have often davened for Hashem to save me and take me from this world. All I want is the z'chus to 'sit on Hashem's lap', but because of my addiction, even this will be denied me when my time comes. I know for a fact that I will have a harsh olam ha'emes, which doesn't bother me. My pain stems from the shame I will rightfully suffer in front of all I admire, and most of all, the knowledge that Hashem is disappointed in me.

We established contact with her and sent her material to read. She proved to be a very quick learner (and reader!), and within a few short days she had read through most of our website, the two handbooks, and a host of other links that we sent her.

A few days after her initial contact (after countless e-mails back and forth), she wrote back as follows:

It's nothing short of a miracle. Two days after you wrote to me and listened to the pain in my heart, I took upon myself 90 hours clean; the theme of 90, but in a way I thought I could succeed without over reaching. Well, 90 hours has turned into day 6! I am aiming for a week, and after that hopefully for 10 days; baby steps to help me reach my goal.

I raced through all the reading material you sent me, as a drowning person grabbing 100 pieces of driftwood instead of just focusing on the one closest and most appropriate for his current needs. Now I hope to start re-reading and absorbing the messages one by one. I think you have sent me enough reading for at least 100 days to come ;-) I have no way to thank you.

After about 2 weeks of communication, we finally convinced her to join the "Women's Forum" (no, it wasn't easy). But after just one day on the forum, she posted:

Dear holy neshamos,

I have been on this forum for one short day, and the chizuk and love I've experienced is nothing short of amazing. I'd like to share a few thoughts which are running through my head at this crazy hour of 2am.

All I keep repeating is "Mi K'amcha Yisrael"! For the first time in 30 years, I find myself actually thanking Hakadosh Baruch Hu for this addiction! In a mere 2 weeks (Guard was stuck with me till I joined you all) I have grown more through what I previously perceived as a curse, than all the clear brachos combined.

I see so clearly the difference between goyim and frum Yidden. Goyim are also fighting this terrible epidemic called lust, also filling the SA and SLAA groups in unprecidented numbers. But they are trying to beat it for very different reasons than we. True, we all (them and us) want it to stop taking over our lives, marriages, money and self respect. We all want to stop hiding in 'dark corners' and living double lives.

But I think that's where the similarity ends. They want it to stop ruining their olam hazeh (this world). We want it to stop ruining our olam ha'emes (World of Truth). To us, nothing is more important than our connection to Hashem.

I have no words to thank you all for the chizuk.

May we all be zoche to see Hashem's chesed clearly, because everything He does is for the good, we just don't always sense it.

Below are another few inspiring "random" posts from 7Up:

I've been an addict for close to 30 years! I've been working and battling this for at least 20 - alone. The difference is that NOW, I will succeed. Hashem has been helping me all along, but NOW, I have all you guys too. AND THAT WILL MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. The seeds have been sown a long time, but GYE will be the water after 30 years of drought.

Hashem is so good to me! I could not do this on my own will or power! I tried so many times and failed. Today Hashem is holding my hand and I feel His love like never before! I don't know about you, but to me, feeling His hand holding and love makes this whole nisayon worth it. Really.

Talking to my Tatte in Shamayim is something I do every second of my day. We 'shmooze' while I'm cooking, crossing the street or even yelling at the kids! I thank Him when I make the bus, and when I miss it too. In short, Hashem is my best friend, Father and Teacher. Not only does He know everything anyway, but He knows me much better than I will ever know myself.

NOTHING is more important to me than Ratzon Hashem. Daily, I daven with all my heart that I should be a source of a kiddush Hashem and for the chance to grow closer. I would do ANYTHING to reach this goal. Even giving up all physical pleasure on every level forever, would be a small sacrifice towards that goal.

Well, it's not for nothing she earned the title "GYE Rebbetzin"!