As an El-Al plane landed on Chanukkah at Ben Gurion airport in Israel, the voice of the Captain came on:
"To those who are still seated, we wish you a Merry X-mas, and hope that you enjoy your stay ... and to those of you standing in the aisles, we wish you a Happy Chanukah, and welcome back home."
***
From O'Mottel's Kitchen:
Happy Chanukka!
In addition to our classic potato latkes, we also feature:
Carrot latkes
Beet Latkes
Apple latkes
Pumpkin Latkes
Zucchini latkes
Sweet latkes
Spicy latkes
Fish Latkes
Imitation crab latkes
Bread crumb latkes
Cholint Latkes
and finally
Possum Latkes with gribenes and shmaltz.
Enjoy!
***
From Bardichev:
HOLY FRIENDS
YES IT IS CHANUKKA
OK WE ARE NOT EXACTLY THE MACCABEIM OF OLD
BUT HOW CAN WE WAGE A WAR OF FEW AGAINST MANY
PURE AGAINST UNPURE
CAN WE ??
YES, WE CAN!!!!
DELETE YOUR FACEBOOK ACCOUNT
CONVINCE YOUR "REAL" NON-VIRTUAL FRIENDS TO DO THE SAME!
***
A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Chanukah cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Chanukah stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
"Oh my God," the woman says, "has it come to this? Give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform."