Other advocates of classifying heavy pornography use as an addiction are numerous websites offering help to self-described porn addicts. Some, like GuardYourEyes.org or MaritalHealing.com, have religious affiliation – Jewish and Catholic, respectively - and bring in religious overtones to disparage and discourage pornography watching. Others, like FightTheNewDrug.org or ThroughTheFlame.org claim no such affiliation, and offer help with stopping compulsive use of pornography on health, moral, or “quality of life” grounds. Such websites usually provide scientific support for their assertions of the dangers and addictive nature of Internet porn. It’s important to note that all these websites feature resources for teenagers, and report significant numbers of members between the ages of 14 and 17.
So what does all this mean? In the opinion of the creators of GuardYourEyes.org, this means that it is time our community became alert to the fact that Internet pornography addiction is here and is real. It affects our youth just as it does the general population. We need to stop treating this affliction as a moral or religious failure and recognize it for what it is – a pernicious disease, requiring professional help. And we should offer this help without shaming and stigmatizing to the thousands in our community who need it. GuardYourEyes.org network offers such help, that is both completely free and completely anonymous. There are no appointments to make, no bills to come in the mail, and the help is administered in the privacy of your home or office, at your pace and your schedule. The only requirement for membership is the admission that one has a problem and the desire to be free of it.
However, it is common knowledge that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Prevention remains the best tool in dealing with an addiction and its ruinous consequences. It is true, of course, that not all who view pornography suffer a detriment to their health, just like not all who drink alcohol or use drugs become alcoholics or develop a drug addiction. Yet, research shows that by delaying the age of initiation or by deterring the use of pornography altogether, we can help a significant number of teenagers avoid developing any issues associated with porn use.
Programs that are directed at reducing or eliminating use of pornography can help start conversations between children and adults, deglamorizing porn and describing the dangers inherent in its obsessive viewing.
It is important that parents and educators deal with adolescent porn use without shaming. Shaming is an inefficient disciplining technique, which causes low self-esteem and depression. This further isolates the person being shamed from their peers, and can even lead to suicide in some teenagers. By suggesting that pornography is addictive, we can help de-stigmatize pornography use and motivate those struggling to get help.
For prevention to succeed, it is important to educate grown-ups - ourselves - about accessibility as well as dangers of online porn. It is our hope that this article will be useful towards that goal.
It is equally important that we have at our disposal sex education tools and materials that would help meet adolescent interests while keeping young people away from harm, and at the same time be true to our values of tznius. Like in drug prevention, “Just say ‘No!’” is not enough for success; it is of equal importance to provide the developing needs and curiosity of teenagers with suitable substitutes for unwanted behavior. The sexualized media is omnipresent, and we need tools to counteract it.
Of great importance to our teenagers is an empathic and open relationship with a safe adult, be it parent or educator, who is able to discuss sexual issues and address questions of pornography and sexual behavior in a direct, mature, and respectful manner. GuardYourEyes.org offers an on-line forum for teens for just such purpose.
Just as important, is parental supervision and monitoring adolescents’ technology use. For the latter, GuardYourEyes.org network offers a variety of prevention tools. They have an entire website, venishmartem.com, dedicated to stopping the Internet problem at its root by providing effective and easy-to-use filtering solutions for Klal Yisrael. Venishmartem aims to help tens of thousands of Yidden install effective filtering. Their team researches every existing up-to-date solution for every type of device. The site’s expanding directory of professional frum filter technicians is available for those who need extra help. As a public service, Venishmartem filter guides are available free of charge.
Thousands of frum Yidden out there still have open Internet on their computers and devices. Many people think that filters will slow down their computers or block them from things they like to do, but this is not necessarily true at all. The problem is that people are used to not having filters and are therefore afraid of what the filter will do. This whole situation has to change. We must ensure that the coming generation doesn’t even have a question about whether to use internet without a filter. It should become a given for every frum Yid that unfiltered Internet is a danger to the fabric of Jewish life and the health of our children. The next generation of frum Yidden must grow up with the concept of filtered internet as a basic prerequisite to being an erlicher Yid.
Please help us make our dream of a physically and spiritually healthy world a reality. Visit GuardYourEyes.org or Venishmartem.com for more information, to get help, or to participate in helping others.