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Backdoor Closed
We just learned in Parshas Matos about the power of vows, and that it is a mitzva to use them (with care) when it comes to girding oneself from temptation. Someone just sent this email in to GYE:.
I wanted to share my recent experience in the hopes that it can be mechazik others.
I’m 30 and married, and like so many of us I’ve been batting in this area for years. There’s always ups and downs, but eventually I reached a point at which I felt I had things under control. The truth was I hadn’t really. While I had so many fences in place that slipping was very infrequent, nevertheless whenever there was temptation, I would almost certainly fall down. Then the unimaginable happened: after all the years of building fences, I accidentally came across a backdoor on my phone that I knew I couldn’t remove/block/filter for specific personal reasons.
I felt utterly lost: for the first time in this battle, my tried and true strategy was not enough. I feared the worst! In my search for a solution to this dilemma, I learned from the GYE guidebook about making nedarim (specifically, the TaPHSiC method). That day, I mad a vow that made sense for my situation, and BH, I’ve seen the results firsthand. Now, when this backdoor presents itself at any given time, I remember my vow (and the amount of money I’ll have to pay if I fall) and I’m amazed at how effectively my lustful thoughts disappear!
I’m about to renew my vow for the third time (2 week intervals), and I’m so thankful to have found this solution as a compliment to my - already set up - fences. As I’ve come to learn, winning this battle requires a strategy, and while setting up fences is a smart first step, it’s critical to have a plan for when holes are discovered.