The more I read through the posts here on the GYE forum, the smaller I feel. Everybody here has an incredible drive for truth, and an unbelievable WILL (no pun intended). I came here a few days ago thinking I knew a bit about a few things, and now I shamefully hang my head realizing that I know nothing about anything. Everybody here has given me tremendous chizuk, whether they realize it or not... and it is that chizuk that forces me to stare my biggest problem in the eye. Baruch Hashem, not acting out is an easier battle for me now... and it was perhaps the victory of that skirmish (breaking the cycle) that made me think I was almost done... but I have conveniently neglected the root of it all: Shmiras Einayim. It is extremely hard for me to keep my eyes to myself. Unbelievably hard. But with Elul here, I cannot ask Hashem for forgiveness of my past if I have not done my part. For the next 90 days, I will give Shmiras Einayim my every effort. And I don't care how hard it is.
So here I am, trembling as I think about the challenge of the coming months... But I do know one thing... Yetzer Hara? You goin down!