“How did the Twelve Step Program help me?” he asked. “What did it give me that was new for me? The counselor who gave the seminar on the Twelve Steps reminded me of my students at the beginning of their life in yeshiva, when they first find God. But I was with Him for fifty years. I prayed to Him, I cried out to Him, I laughed with Him, and He was with me wherever I went. I was so close to Him that I even drank with Him at home, or in shul. I recited 100 blessings a day just on vodka!
Eli was referred to me by his mashgiach at yeshiva. He had carried a big secret with him for over 15 years. Eli masturbated uncontrollably five times a day. He suffered from this. He tried everything:“ learning mussar, fasting, praying, speaking to a Torah leader, but nothing helped him. Everyone told him that after he got married, the habit would go away, but this did not happen. “I’m a sinner!” he cried to me in my room. “I don’t understand. There’s a clear promise that the light of the Torah returns a person to the good. But none of my spiritual world is helping me to overcome this Evil Inclination!”
At Retorno, we have dealt with hundreds of addicts since 1990. Over half of them are from the religious community. They are addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, or have eating disorders. After treatment, around 70% of them began a new life, following a spiritual path that they had never previously experienced.
Yet how come such people had never experienced a spiritual life?
Addiction: Sin Or Disease?
When we bring examples from the Bible, the Talmud, or the stories of our Sages, we must do it very carefully. We do not intend to interpret the events that are mentioned or judge these great personalities and figures that shaped human and Jewish history. Our total objective is to learn from them for the here and now, as Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch wrote with regard to Genesis 27:1.
From the dawn of humanity, man has been faced with the choice of either doing good, doing the right thing, and following in God’s ways, or transgressing and following a second path that seems more tempting and provides instantaneous gratification. It is up to man to make his choice.
“Behold, I have set before you life and good, and death and evil. God does not interfere in human decisions, but like a caring and loving father, He looks on from afar but leaves the freedom of choice to the chosen one of Creation – man. God merely asks or even begs, “You will choose life so that you and your offspring will live.” (Deuteronomy 30)
It would appear, however, that the serpent, who could be described as the “Biblical pusher,” is stronger than logic, understanding, or the divine command.
“And the Lord God commanded man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat. But of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat of it, for on the day that you eat thereof, you shall surely die.”
“Now the serpent was cunning, more than all the beasts of the field that the Lord God had made.”
“And the serpent said to the woman, ‘You will surely not die. For God knows that on the day that you eat thereof, your eyes will be opened.’ And the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, so she took of its fruit, and she ate, and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.” (Genesis 2:16-17 and 3:1-6)
Without going into our Sages’ commentaries on the exact nature of the forbidden fruit, as to whether it was a vine, a fig, wheat, or a citron (Tractate Berachot), we see that this is the human being’s first encounter with his free choice. It is the purest type of encounter: there are no parents to blame, no peer pressure at this point, or unsolved oedipal complexes. There are no defense mechanisms here; man is unclothed. He has no masks to shield him from the options of choosing the restrictive good or the more tempting evil. And so man chose evil!
“Man is obliged to choose between two paths” – one is the narrow passage to redemption, based upon progress on the spiritual plane, and the second is the gateway to oblivion, caused by the pursuit of modern life. (NELSON, 1987, from N. Ronal 1995)
Ten generations after Adam’s sin, Noah went out from the Ark, and the first thing that he did was, “And Noah began to be a master of the soil, and he planted a vineyard. And he drank of the wine and became drunk.” (Genesis 9:20-21)
The Sages endeavor to explain Noah’s actions here and what the Torah is trying to teach us by telling us about them.
“And Noah began.” He started off with an action that was not appropriate, and from there he went on to other deeds that should not have been done. This was because a little damage at the beginning will bring about much devastation in the end. (Seforno)
An amazing psychological interpretation appears in the Shloh’s work, Viyite Kerem. Here, it states that Eve squeezed grapes for Adam, and Noah wanted to repair what had begun in God’s vineyard. But he did more damage by drinking too much, and because he went into something that was beyond his comprehension. He looked and was damaged, and these things are unclear and are only known to those who possess the hidden wisdom.
The words of the Shloh are based on an explanation in the Zohar that compares Noah’s drinking of wine with the wine that the sons of Aharon drank at the dedication of the Sanctuary. For this episode of drinking, they paid with their lives.
The deepest reason behind Noah’s drinking and the drinking of the sons of Aharon was to draw closer to God and to rectify Adam’s sin. It was a desire to take control of an action that was committed when its perpetrator was out of control, a will to remove all obstacles and screens, but, in accordance with the timeworn saying, “The way to Hell is paved with good intentions.”
“When we joined A.A., we discovered the mistake that was at the root of our opposition: we had never wanted to know what God wanted from us. We always tried to dictate our will to Him. We saw that one cannot believe in God and defy Him at the same time.” (From Twelve Steps, 12 Traditions, The Second Step)
Noah’s intoxication can be explained as the need to fill an existential void. Noah tried to save the world from the Flood. For 120 years, he attempted to convince and educate. He ran prevention programs, but nothing worked. Similar to today’s world, evil was just more tempting, stronger, and had more of an influence. “And there was a Flood upon the earth.” But when Noah left the Ark, he felt like a person just starting retirement, with no more challenges or worries. Sometimes a person tries to move emotions even when things are too good for him: “With the sweat of your brow, you shall eat bread.”(Genesis 3:19) Our Sages tell us that this is not necessarily a curse. A man by nature needs to be constantly busy so that he will not have the time to seek forbidden fruits.
Rav Dosa ben Hyrcanus said, “Morning sleep, noontime wine, drive a person from the world.” (Avot 3:15)
When the Jews were on their miraculous sojourn through the Wilderness on their way to the Promised Land, they lacked nothing. A pillar of cloud protected them during the day and a pillar of fire at night. Manna, a nourishing divine food, was also not lacking. Suddenly, “But the multitude among them began to have strong cravings. Then even the children of Israel once again began to cry, and they said, “Who will feed us meat? We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free of charge, the cucumbers, the watermelons, the leeks, the onions, and the garlic. But now, our bodies are dried out, for there is nothing at all; we have nothing but manna to look at.” (Numbers 11:1)
This is like a man who is staying at the Hilton Hotel and has everything he needs, but he still wants a portion of falafel from his local stand. There is no logical explanation for this beyond his strong desire. He is addicted because of his illogical desire to a negative, familiar, and evil feeling. The picture is painted in rosy colors – that we ate free of charge. (But who gave you food free of charge?)
They want meat, but they remember leeks, onions, and garlic. The whole thing seems totally insane!
The professional explanation of this strange Biblical phenomenon will be explained later on.
It was once thought that addiction to psychoactive substances only existed in poor areas. However, today, it is well known that when it comes to drug abuse, there is no difference between poor neighborhoods and the most exclusive areas in the world. The main difference is usually the type of drug and its price.