But what if we struggle with these prohibitions? Knowing we have done acts that are definitely forbidden can crush us. How should we react if we stumble?
We can learn the correct approach from the Ramchal’s comments on the prohibitions of harboring hatred and taking revenge (Mesillas Yesharim, Chapter 11):
Also hatred and revenge — it is very hard for the easily swayed heart of man to escape from them, because man is very sensitive to his shame and it causes him great pain [when someone shames him], and revenge is sweeter than honey because it is his only satisfaction [meaning the only thing that settles and satisfies a person when someone else embarrasses him is revenge]. Thus, when he finds the strength to abandon what his nature urges him to do and to overcome his nature not to hate the person who awakened within him the [instinctive feelings of] hatred, not to take revenge on him when he is able to, and not to bear a grudge, instead choosing to forget everything as if it never happened, [it shows that] he is extremely strong! This is easy only for the angels who do not have these traits, not for people. But this is the King’s decree, and open verses clearly delineate [these prohibitions].
Similarly, if we struggle with the prohibitions of desire, we must not attack ourselves as if being perfect is easy. If we make careless mistakes or even lose head-on battles against desire, we must not let it destroy us. And we definitely must not feel that all is lost and give up. We must keep the right perspective on this battle, because it is our greatest opportunity for astounding greatness. It’s not easy, but this is what Hashem wants us to try to accomplish. We must do what we can to control ourselves, realizing that sin is wrong and that our actions really matter. This will give us the strength to stand up to the yetzer hara and produce some of the best accomplishments ever!
We can motivate ourselves even further when we need it by reminding ourselves that our actions have real consequences. When we sin, we damage ourselves, and to bring us back to the state of perfection that Hashem wants us to enjoy forever, He must purify us. We don’t know how each person will be judged and how severe each sin will be considered — only Hashem can determine that. And of course, we must never identify ourselves as bad people because of our errors (Pirkei Avos 2:18). We did not mean to sin; we lost a difficult battle against our desires. But the point is still true: our actions really make a difference. Hashem created a system in which our decisions have tremendous significance. Of course, He did this only because it will bring us the most enjoyment (see the next chapter). But our actions do have ramifications, and it is vital that we choose correctly.
Sinning is never worth it. The pleasure is short, and the consequences are heavy. But winning is always worth it. Each bit of exertion brings us unfathomable enjoyment that never ends.
And if we ever feel overwhelmed, we must remember that Hashem just wants us to try our best. If we do, He will take care of everything, and we will rejoice forever.
Willpower is a tool that brings us to astounding success. If we use it right, we will win our most difficult challenges and reach the greatest heights in the battle of the generation.
Quick Recap: