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Conduct in Public Places

Since I have subscribed, I tried to fight against my Yetzer HaRa, and it had been a brutal war. Baruch HaShem, my cellphone is "calm." But the problem is the women in the streets. I cannot think of anything good, and sometimes, I don't feel G-d around me. If there was any way to help me...

Thank you for helping me in this struggle. Blessings of HaShem upon you.

-Street Fighter

Dear Fighter,
here are some suggestions from GYE members about conduct on the streets:

obormottel • Monday, 26 February 2018
Part 4/4 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

By Anthony Nonymous:

  1. My yetzer hora for looking at inappropriate things strengthens and weakens in waves. I have drawn a definite association between when I actively make decisions to be strong, e.g. fully reading the GYE newsletter, or other mussar/halacha about shmiras aynayim, and when my yeter hora is weakened. Conversely, it just takes a little slip, e.g. an involuntary sighting of some linked image on a news website to bring it back full force. Even though I instinctively cover the image with my hand within a split second, or close the web page, the damage is done. Lesson learned - when an "accident" like this happens, immediately apply the antidote of some extra mussar.
  2. My mind loves to wander onto thoughts of inappropriate things particularly when I am in a lessened state of alertness, like when I've just closed my eyes to go to sleep. It helps to have something else to dwell on that doesn't use too much brain power, to distract myself as I am dozing off, but it has to be visual, like counting up to 1000, and visualizing the digits being decorated in peaceful, dreamy ways.
  3. When my yetzer come at me with rationalizations like, "just looking/thinking doesn't hurt", I find it helpful to think about my teenage daughter, and how she would feel if she knew what I was staring at or visualizing. It would be a complete insult to her, and just the thought of doing something so shameful is often enough to set me straight.
  4. Following on from the previous point, I sometimes think to myself, what kind of insult is it to every female human being that I know, that I could think of women in such a gross, demeaning way, distracted by their physical bodies and giving no consideration to their holy souls. Is that the kind of person I am? I'm better than that.

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