I hope I can stop the addiction and become a good Jew!
First of all, you already are a "good Jew". Perfect - no... but good - surely. Hashem certainly loves us even though you and I have weaknesses and may make terrible mistakes at times. As long as a child is honestly - though very imperfectly - trying to get better, any understanding father is proud of this child. And he understands everything. He is obviously so proud of us. And he loves you even while you are screwing up, obviously, cuz He put it in your heart to want better for yourself, and He even helped you get here to find understanding and help! A good start, to be sure. You are quite fortunate... luckier than many.