The Library

When I start to fantasise or have euphoric recall, I have to accept I cannot use lust successfully. Can you share how you diffuse the situation? Specifically, people have been saying "get on your knees and ask for G-d". Where does G-d come into those moments? Dov Responds...

Avraham – the First Man in Recovery! עשרה נסיונות נתנסה אברהם אבינו ועמד בכלם להודיע כמה חבתו של אברהם אבינו "Our forefather Abraham was tested with ten trials and he withstood all of them - to show the degree of our forefather Abraham's love for G-d." (Pirke Avos 4:2) ...

Let's cut right to the heart of the matter: We get in trouble if we try to run our own lives. Our ego starts to mess things up. We try to control things we can't control. We think we are smarter than we are. We start to think we can run things just fine by ourselve...

Dear G-d, As I work through my fears, I realize I am thoroughly insane, tossed about by multitudes of negative character traits, trying my best to protect myself and get what I want, according to my mind's instructions. But I only get panic and chaos. When one characteri...

The core of the famous "12-Step" program and the secret to its great success, are the first 3 steps: 1. We admitted we were powerless over lust, and that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanit...

Download the video directly here, or see it on the Aish.com website here (if you can't watch Youtube videos [hopefully!] then click the link below the video to watch it in a different player). Dov explains the point of this video: The video is not so precious because it ...

The more we understand the underlying message the 12-Steps represent, the more we can understand the underlying message of Yetzias Mitzrayim as well. Those who work the 12-Steps into their lives, claim that they no longer have to fight the Yetzer Hara; Hashem does it for...

The 3rd step states: "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him". In the past we tried to explain how this works: Instead of retaining the lust and trying to give up our will to Hashem, we surrender the lust itself to ...

Someone who we helped convince to join the 12-Step groups, sent us an e-mail recently as follows: I've had good groups of days, but the big picture is still horrible. I truly hope and am optimistic that one day I will climb out and help others too, but as of today it seem...

There was a discussion on the forum recently about using Mussar and "Sifrei Yirah" to break free of this addiction. Although this may work for people who are not deeply addicted, it rarely works in more serious cases. "Dov", who has 18 years of sobriety through SA, wrote ...

Someone posted on the forum an excerpt from an article at livescience.com which he says reminds him a lot of the idea that an addict is "powerless" over lust. Here's the excerpt: If you think you're generally good at resisting temptation, you're probably...

Someone wrote on the forum: "I feel drained right now. I feel like I've been fighting the whole entire day. I just hope and pray I come out victorious. But it aint over till it's over. Please daven for me. I wanna get over this thing so badly. I feel that if I can get pas...

Someone wrote on the forum: I've failed the 12 steps because I got stuck on step 3 ("We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God"). I don't have much faith in myself succeeding at this point. Uri Responds: A kid is always unsure that he wi...

(Some of the concepts below will only be understood by those who are working the 12-Steps and/or were on Duvid Chaim's calls.) Dear Struggler, First of all, you must congratulate yourself. Think about it. You actually experienced a slip, but by posting about it on the f...

The 3rd step is about switching to a new attitude that is something like this: "since G-d is... well, G-d, then He must know better than me. He can give me anything. And He could not possibly have anything against me, for He needs nothing - He doesn't even need me to list...

Nothing is "asked of us" in the 3rd step, at all. It is we who need to do the asking."Hashem, I obviously haven't the ability to run my life without screwing it up. My lust will overtake some areas, just complicate others, and I just don't have the natural ability to rem...

The Crazy Jets Fan A guy who was a crazy Jets fan missed an important game but his friend taped it for him. By the time he got the tape, he had already heard on the news that his Jets won that game. That night he set up beer, chips, salsa, closed door, all for watching th...