Chapter 21- “But I Brought This Upon Myself!”
A major obstacle that saps people’s enthusiasm is the feeling that they themselves caused their challenges. This stops them from appreciating their acts of self-control, because they feel that they should not be facing these challenges and any difficulty is their fault.
At first glance, this idea makes sense. After all, they caused things to be so difficult. They sparked their challenge by not avoiding what would trigger desire. Even more, they caused themselves to become lustful by sinning when it was easier. Had they not indulged then, their impulses would not be nearly as strong. It does seem that succeeding in the mess they made would be nothing to be proud of because they brought the challenge upon themselves.
But this perspective is dead wrong.
The Torah (Bereishis 26:29) relates that our forefather Yitzchok traveled to Gerar to buy food during a famine. After a short time, he was forced to leave because of a dispute with King Avimelech over Yitzchok’s wells. After he left, Avimelech traveled to Yitzchok and requested that they sign a peace treaty. Avimelech told Yitzchok that he should agree because Avimelech and his nation had done so much good for him by sending him out without harming him.
The Da’as Zekeinim explains this exchange with a parable: Once, a lion had a bone stuck in his throat. The lion announced that whoever would remove the bone would be rewarded with great wealth. A bird came along, stuck its head into the lion’s mouth, and removed the bone. When the bird demanded its reward, the lion replied, “Is it not enough that I didn’t eat you when you had your head in my mouth? You want a reward too?!”
Similarly, explains the Da’as Zekeinim, Avimelech told Yitzchok, “Our nature is to attack everyone who comes to our land. We did you a huge favor by overcoming our nature and not harming you.”
This Da’as Zekeinim is hard to understand. The parable seems inconsistent with its application. A lion’s inborn nature is to want to eat, and the lion had to overcome that urge to spare the bird. But man is not born with a desire to damage. Avimelech and his people had corrupted themselves by choosing to harm people until it became their nature. Why should not harming Yitzchok be considered a huge favor?
Before we answer this question, let’s examine a perplexing Midrash. The Torah (Bereishis, Chapters 32-33) tells us that Eisav was upset at Yaakov for taking the blessings from their father, and he came after Yaakov to kill him. Yaakov appeased Eisav by sending him a large gift of animals.
The Midrash (Devarim Rabbah 1:17) relates that when Yaakov sent the gift to Eisav, Eisav tried to return it. As a result, Eisav received a substantial reward later on.
This Midrash is puzzling. Why should Eisav be rewarded for trying to return the gift? Yaakov only offered it because Eisav wanted to kill him. Why should Eisav be rewarded for trying to turn down a present that was only offered because of his wickedness?
Rabbi Henoch Leibowitz, zt”l, answered (Sefer Chiddushei Lev Bereishis, pages 140-141) that this Midrash proves something amazing: Hashem judges each mitzvah without factoring in whether the person brought the challenge upon himself. Even though it is the person’s fault that he put himself in this situation, and even if he sinned by doing so, Hashem still rewards him fully for overcoming his desires now in this challenging situation. Hashem does not subtract from the greatness of the accomplishment; He grants the same reward the person would have received had the challenge come on its own. That is why Eisav was rewarded for returning the present.
Rabbi Leibowitz continued that this is why Avimelech’s restraint was considered a favor. Avimelech and his people had to go against their nature to hold back from harming Yitzchok. It was very hard for them. Although they caused the difficulty by corrupting themselves, that did not make their act of overcoming their nature any less impressive. That’s why not harming Yitzchok was considered such a huge favor.
The message is clear: If a person puts himself in a challenging situation, or even if he strengthens his lusts by constantly giving in and now faces overwhelming battles, he still receives the same reward for struggling to overcome his desires as if it had not been his fault. Although bringing the struggle upon himself adds to the gravity of his earlier mistakes, it does not take away from the greatness of his accomplishments.