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Day 22: Realize That "Private" Flaws Will Be Revealed

Monday, 21 May 2012
Part 2/3 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

In the last section, we brought the story of Mike and Gail, and how Mike's addiction led to Gail insisting on a divorce.

Had Mike known from the start that his desire would destroy his marriage, he would have reined it in immediately.

To put it simply, Mike couldn't trust himself alone with a computer, so he should have seen to it that the opportunity wouldn't arise. He should have regarded privacy at his computer as tantamount to yichud [being alone] with a woman.

You may believe that you are not a person likely to fall into such a trap, but consider

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter's insightful words on the subject:

Each person has certain blind spots in his personality. For instance, a spendthrift will waste money on items which are completely unnecessary. A compulsive eater will eat everything that looks good despite the effect on his health. (Ohr Yisrael, Letter Four)

Imagine a judge who is a great legal scholar but has little understanding of the deceptive tactics that people use to manipulate others. If a defendant lies in court, this judge might not be able to see through it. But if the judge has "street-smarts" as well as knowledge of the law, he will recognize the deceptions of the defendant and render a just ruling.

Just as the judge who is unfamiliar with deception is unable to recognize it, so too, we don't see how vulnerable we are to visual stimulation unless we've been sensitized to realize its effect. Fact: When a man looks at a woman, his desire becomes ignited.Chazal expressed this truth thousands of years ago, and it is still just as true today: "The eye sees and then the heart desires."

If you think you are above being overwhelmed by desire, think again. Bad habits form slowly. Only alertness - and the knowledge that inevitably "private" flaws will be revealed - can give you the ability to intercept them.

Today: Put the story of Mike and Gail into your mental arsenal to serve as an effective deterrent to viewing improper sights.

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