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Zivug with God Himself
There is a book called “Simple Words” by Adin Steinsaltz, a wonderful book on the deep meaning of deceptively simple words.
From page 107 here are 2 paragraphs:
"Jewish tradition, however, does not see sex , per se, as sinful. In fact, in the right context, and when engaged in with conscious purpose, sex is seen as a positive commandment, A FORCE OF CONNECTION - because, in contrast to money and food, sexual pleasure in itself is not connected with ownership. It is a pleasure that is derived from giving and being connected with another - both in the body and beyond the physical plane; IT CAN BECOME A MOST MEANINGFUL EXPRESSION OF LOVE, OF CHARITY AND BENEVOLENCE. Sexual desire, possibly the most powerful human desire, can become an expression of holiness.
"THE PHYSICAL UNION ENHANCES THE SPIRITUAL UNION OF TWO INDIVIDUALS. More than that, the particular bond between male and female, in which giving and receiving blend with each other, becomes a way of learning and experiencing a multilevel connection. In a nonabstract form, it becomes a paradigm for doing good deeds. Study and prayer, as well as charity, may also acquire some kind of erotic fervor. This is the reason why Kabbalistic literature describes any kind of deep connection between spiritual entities with the term 'copulation' (i.e. Zivvug)."
Incidentally, Shmini Atzeres is such a day of Zivvug of Hashem and Klal Yisroel, the intimate relationship between the chosson (Hashem) and kallah( Keneses Yisroel).
I saw this in several seforim, including the sefer of the first Slominer Rebbe on the piece on Shmini Atzeres.
This day is you and Hashem.
Alone.
I heard that the Chasam Sofer said that the whole Yamim Noraim leads up to the specialness of this day.
Because it is the day that the Choson tells us He is spending special time with this Kallah.
Another quote from yet another great book called “The doctor and the soul” by Viktor Frankl:
"The spiritual core as the object of the true attitude of love is, then, irreplaceable and inexchangeable for the true lover, because it is unique and singular.
It follows from this that true love is its own warrant of permanence….
Sexual excitement is only temporary.
And a psychological state is also impermanent.
The sex drive vanishes promptly after gratification.
And infatuation, too, is seldom of long duration.
BUT THE SPIRITUAL ACT BY WHICH A PERSON COMPREHENDS THE SPIRITUAL CORE OF ANOTHER OUTLASTS ITSELF; TO THE DEGREE THAT THE CONTENT OF THAT ACT IS VALID, IT IS VALID ONCE AND FOR ALL…
LOVE IS MORE THAN AN EMOTIONAL CONDITION; LOVE IS AN INTENTIONAL ACT.
WHAT IT INTENDS IS THE ESSENCE OF THE OTHER PERSON."
And then I see this sentence:
"His unique being is like all true essences, something timeless and thus imperishable."
This is how Hashem loves us, my dear brothers and sisters.
We are timeless and imperishable.
A Yid that loved his wife a thousand years ago, and was intimate with her because of her essence and because of what she truly is-the act is sacred and eternal.
That physical act is eternal, even if no children came from it.
The Chida says people with no children, who had a true kesher with their wives will go upstairs after 120 and be greeted by many neshomos, the “children” created by the physical union with his wife in this world done with true Ahava.
This special connection enhanced by the physical connection did not end with death.
It is timeless and endures forever.
We have the Avos in us. Yitzchok loved Rivka. And part of that endures and is part of us that love is also within every Yid. So why waste this special intimate eternal act on emptiness and on a mere external shell that truly truly is nothing at all?
And when this intimacy is not possible at the moment, it can be directed to a special tefillah or to that powerful emotion of closeness to Hashem that I wish all of us will experience this Shmini Atzeres.
If I knew that all my brothers and sisters would experience this true Simcha and Ahava with Hashem, and with those they truly love, that all my single friends would find their true zivug, and all the married ones have a good and healthy relationship with their spouses, and parnassah, and good health, this would fill me with true Simcha.
If these berachos are still missing from my brothers and sisters, then I am missing it too.
Because the heart of Klal Yisroel is One.