In this week’s Parsha, we witness the confrontation between Yakov and Esav. Chazal identify three approaches which Yaakov Avinu employed in preparation: “Doron, Tefila VeMilchama” - gifts, prayer, and war.
Based on the Zohar and the Ramban, Rav Dessler ZT’L says that this confrontation was, in fact, a battle between the forces of good and evil and that every aspect had cosmic ramifications. In light of this, it must be understood that each of Yaakov’s tactics corresponds to an approach in our combat with the Yetzer Hara, the force of evil.
The first tactic of Yaakov was to send gifts to Esav to try to appease him. In the spiritual battle, this corresponds to the initial step in a person’s struggle with the Yetzer Hara. The Mishna in Avos says: A person should always occupy himself with Torah and Mitzvot, even if not for their own sake (shelo lishma); because out of doing them from ulterior motives one can come to do them for their own sake (lishma).
In Ruach Chaim, Rav Chaim Voloshiner comments on this as follows:
Learning Torah shelo lishma is an important key to the stage when one comes to learn it lishma. In fact without this [preparatory stage] one is incapable of combating the yetzer Hara.
And further on Rav Chaim adds:
The preparatory stage of shelo lishma is indeed essential. Without it, it is impossible to arrive at the stage of lishma.
Indeed the word “always” in the mishna would seem to bear this out.
Seen in this light, serving Hashem shelo lishma, for example, by convincing oneself of the material gain one has from doing good, is a prerequisite to conquering one’s Yetzer Hara. The reason for this is that at the beginning of each advance towards lishma the tender plant of purity is too weak to stand on its own; it needs assistance from shelo lishma. These were the “gifts” which Yaakov sent to Esav
The second approach is Tefila. Although one has to use personal motivation (shelo lishma) as an incentive to overcome the Yetzer Hara, it is by no means obvious that this will always lead to lishma, nor is it always the case. One knows people who start learning for ulterior motives and remain with them for the rest of their lives.
Rav Simcha Zissel ZT”L used to say that the transformation can only take place, if one intends right from the beginning that it shall lead to lishma. If our main aim and ambition is to achieve a pure and unselfish mode of service of HaShem and we make use of the shelo lishma to ease our struggle against the Yetzer hara, then we stand a chance of eventually arriving at the stage of lishma. In the spiritual life, one arrives only at the destination one intended in the first place.
Therefore one must constantly ask HaShem for His help. By doing so he shows that his overall motivation and aspirations are pure. Only with this combination of lishma and shelo lishma can one eventually reach a level of serving HaShem with purity of heart.
[In addition Tefila can be a “shortcut”, (as explained in Parshas Vayaitsai).This is for those who are spiritual cripples and are no longer able to conquer their Yezer Hara at all by their own efforts. They have become habituated to sin to such an extent that their hearts are defiled, and they are unable to ascend even the smallest step by themselves. What can they do? They can cry out to HaShem and He in his mercy will take them up to the top without their having to tread on a rung. If their heart is broken and their remorse for all their wrongdoing is thorough and sincere and they pour out their heart to HaShem they may suddenly find themselves at the top.]
Finally, Yaakov prepared himself for war. In the spiritual realm this is the third stage which culminates the process of overcoming the Yetzer hara. The greatest service of HaShem lies in the purification of motive. Once one has established himself with the aid of “gifts” to the Yetzer Hara, he can now attempt to purify his actions. In order to achieve this, one has to battle with his Yetzer Hara to eliminate the impure and egoistic motives. He can then reach the ultimate level of serving HaShem with pure intent (lishma); and then on to the next advance, until one comes as close as possible to complete lishma.