From personal experience we know lust is cunning, baffling, powerful, and patient. In the day-to-day grind, we wonder how might we win against such a foe that never sleeps and never quits?
In the past, when lust came knocking, we always opened the door. It was as if we had no other option. But today in recovery we do have a choice. There are many tools that we can use to keep the door closed to lust. Here are a few:
Honesty - For so long, we were afraid to tell anyone what was really going on in our heads. By keeping it a secret, we allowed our addictive thinking to grow and spread. By sharing our thoughts and actions with others in SA, we discovered that much of the power of lust was removed. Therefore, members of SA are encouraged to share honestly, both in and out of meetings.
Avoiding Triggers - Many things can trigger lust: movies, magazines, swimming pools, the Internet, even some things in the morning newspaper. Certainly there are endless opportunities to lust. By examining our personal lives closely and honestly, we can identify the thoughts, persons, places, and things that regularly cause us the most trouble. Having identified them, we now make decisions to avoid them, thus reducing our temptation to lust.
Prayer - We use prayers of all kinds to drive away lust. One quick prayer is, "God, help me." Many of us ask God to bless the person we are wanting to lust after. We ask God to provide that person with all the good things we desire for our own lives. By doing so, we stop making that person a lust object, but rather a child of God. Another simple prayer requests, "God, whatever I am looking for in that person, may I find in you."
Sponsorship - A sponsor is a more experienced recovering person who guides us through the Twelve Steps of recovery. Ideally, a sponsor is working the Steps, going to meetings, and has a sponsor himself or herself. A sponsor can help us use the Steps to surrender the obsession with lust in order to live a balanced and joyful life.
How do we know these tools work? The experience of thousands of recovering Sexaholics indicates it is working in their lives, one day at a time.
Progressive victory over lust is possible. We call on God for help; we lean on others for support; and we take the Steps of SA to recover. Anyone who follows this plan is sure to find great relief from the onslaught of lust.
Remember, lust will not disappear overnight. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Lust is tenacious; it does not give up easily. Our experience, however, has shown that anyone afflicted with sexaholism can get better if he or she is willing to be honest about the problem and follow the Twelve Steps and Traditions of SA's program of recovery. A life of freedom is available to all.
Remember, you are not alone! There are many others who share your problem but are in recovery and are waiting now to help you walk down this path. You need never be alone again.
Come, join us.