How can a person fix all the mistakes he made in the past? How can one undo the damage of shmiras eiynayim and shmiras habris?
One of the types of tshuva mentioned in the rishonim is called "tshuvas hamishkal", the "tshuva of weighing." This type of tshuva involves causing oneself suffering to "balance off" the pleasure one had when sinning. Through fasting and other types of breaking one's desires one atones for the enjoyment he had when sinning.
Our generation is weak, and it is impossible for us to fast and afflict ourselves. Someone of our generation might easily conclude that tshuvas hamishkal was a madreiga for the great ones of long ago, and has no meaning for us today.
Look, however, at the tremendous light cast for us by Rebbe Nachman of Breslav (Likutei Eitzos, Machshavos V'hirhurim, os beis):
"When thoughts of znus come to a person's mind , and he breaks his taava and removes his mind from them--this is the main tshuva and reparation for having blemished his bris-that each person blemished in his own way. This is considered actual "tshuvas hamishkal". Therefore a person should not become discouraged when he sees that impure thoughts are afflicting him, even if they are awful and embarrassing. To the contrary, this exactly is where the key to his tshuva and reparation lies. Specifically through this test, that impure thoughts come to him and he vanquishes them (and shortly I will share with you his advice about how to do this) - specifically here is the key to his salvation, as I have explained. Through passing this test he draws out the sparks of holiness that fell through the blemish he created; he merits to repair his bris; he further merits to purify his wisdom and his voice; he merits peace; and he merits to draw the entire world to the service of Hashem."
A little further in the same section (osyud aleph), Rebbe Nachman explains to us how to vanquish these thoughts with an eitzah astounding in its truth and simplicity:
The rule is that it is totally impossible for a person to think two different thoughts at the same time. Therefore a person can easily banish impure thoughts without actively confronting them. That is, he can elect not to think the wrong thought, rather to think about something else concerning Torah or service of Hashem, or even business or some other subject. In this way he will automatically ("m'meila") free himself from any negative thought that comes to him, for, as we said, it is definitely impossible to think two different thoughts at the same time. I have already explained that it is unnecessary to shake one's head this way and that in order to banish bad thoughts, for this is completely ineffective. Just think another thought, as we said, and don't look back.
And a bit further (ois tes-zayin), Rebbe Nachman gives us a powerful moshol:
A person's thoughts are in his hand to turn as he wills, to any place he wishes; as I have explained to you, it is impossible to think two different thoughts at the same time. Even if sometimes a person's thoughts fly away and explore strange, unwelcome subjects, a person has the power to turn his thoughts, to force them onto the straight path, to think about fitting subjects. This is identical to a horse that turns from one path to another, that you can grasp hold of the reigns to return it to the desired path. So too mamash are a person's thoughts, that as soon as he sees himself turning from the proper path, he can direct them onto the proper path.
I hope you find these eitzos helpful. May we merit to do true tshuva and to purify our thoughts completely. Amen.
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