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The Porn Trap

Wednesday, 14 March 2012
Part 1/3 (to see other parts of the article, click on the pages at the bottom)

Dear Friends at Guardureyes,

Given the work you are doing in helping people with pornography problems, we thought you would like to know about our new recovery book:

THE PORN TRAP:
THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO OVERCOMING PROBLEMS CAUSED BY PORNOGRAPHY (Collins/HarperCollins, hardcover, 2008).

We wrote this book to fill the need for a comprehensive resource for people who are struggling with personal and relationship issues related to pornography, and it discusses numerous strategies for "Getting Motivated to Quit Porn." While "THE PORN TRAP" is written primarily for a secular audience (we are Jewish), it validates the importance of faith-based support and recovery help, and it can be used as an adjunct to the 12-step programs or faith-based programs. We see group work and these kinds of programs as extremely beneficial, because they help people come out of social isolation and learn skills for being honest, real, accountable, and to be able to learn from others.

You can also ask the people who read you daily email to send in questions for me. I would be willing to answer some of them that you choose.

Here is a short article on "Facing Your Fears" for your daily newsletter, adapted from a chapter in our book.

Identifying and Facing Your Fears

Fear is a common emotion that arises when someone tries to quit porn. When left unaddressed, it can sabotage your recovery efforts by increasing ambivalence and continually undermining your motivation. Like a nail you are unaware of in one of your car's tires, an unidentified and unaddressed fear can slow your healing journey down without your even realizing what is happening.

The idea of making any kind of major life change and facing the unknown is often initially frightening, even when we are fairly certain that the change will improve our lives. Quitting means letting go of a product that brought instant pleasure and stress relief, and it involves making significant lifestyle changes, such as saying good-bye to well-established sexual habits, finding new ways to cope with emotional stresses, and learning how to relate to others more openly and honestly.

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