To a man struggling with appreciating his wife's looks, "Kedusha" wrote:
Ask yourself this: Isn't it true that, if my wife were the only woman in the world, millions of men would be desperately vying for her attention? Well, as far as I'm concerned, she is the only woman in the world. I'm not allowed to look at any other woman (for pleasure), I cannot touch any other woman (Derech Chibah v'Taavah), and certainly sex is forbidden with any other woman on the planet. She's all there is, yet, Boruch Hashem, no one is trying to take her away from me!
Where are you holding in Shemiras Einayim and Shemiras HaBris? Try being very Makpid for a month, and see if you start feeling differently about your wife.