I feel so low. I hate myself and I don't trust that Hashem loves me.
A Tzadik once said that Hashem loves the biggest Rasha more than we love the biggest Tzadik... The pasuk says "Hashem Tzilcha - Hashem is your shadow". He reacts to us the way we act and perceive Him. Even the biggest sinner who believes that Hashem Loves him dearly (which is true), will start to see it and feel it... Hashem will show it to him... He is our shadow. He shadows the way we see Him in our lives.