I respect anyone with the strength and courage to overcome their evil inclination but sadly, I really don't think I care enough. But it bothers me that I don't care... I'm so bogged down by years of disillusionment and cynicism.... I feel like I've just become to jaded to care about anything related to my native religion....
Beating this addiction really has nothing to do with religion. We have a few non-Jews and non-religious people on this forum too. An addiction is a disease, which manifests itself in many levels, physical, emotional and spiritual. When a person realizes that it is slowly destroying their lives, they come here and learn how to recover... If we want to have a healthy and meaningful life, we can't be ruled by our basest instincts. This addiction will prevent of us from ever being a good husband and father, from holding down a steady job or from just being a healthy and happy human being. And it is a progressive disease, which only gets worse.
On GYE you will learn how to "hit bottom while still on top". Don't wait for the addiction to destroy your life. To understand better what "hitting bottom while still on top" means, see this page on our website, which I just set up today especially for you.
Your openness and honesty is incredible!
You are at a point which took me a long time to get too.
I know how you feel -
I felt the same way.
I remember the cynical feelings, too.
Can I ask you a question?
Where do we find boundaries?
Answer: In things which are important...
... and in places of Kedusha.
The internet allows us to break free of all boundaries -
we feel like superman... with our internet vision we can look from one end of the planet to the next, we can see through walls, doors and even clothing.
It is exciting - the porn industry invests millions of dollars a year to figure out how to make it interesting and exciting for you (and me, and everyone else)...
They want to capture your attention.
They want to steal your focus.
The constant click-and-flick only further wears down our ability to focus.
Try to imagine - how would you describe someone without a focus...
Their mind wanders, they procrastinate, they cannot devote attention to their job, family, spouse, etc.
A life without borders... without focus... is a life which lacks importance... lacks Kedusha...
And the porn industry knows this - it draws you in... and gives you a false sense of importance... a false sense of excitement.... it's a system where the pleasures fade away to pain.
I am not here to tell you what to do - you can decide for yourself.
However if you want someone to listen too - there are some great people here on the forum, or any of the 12-step calls. Some great people - who have been there, done that, and gotten over it.
And I can tell you this: After breaking through the false illusions of the internet trap, life is much better now than it was ever before.