I recently read an article in some frum newspaper story, and it's helping me a lot...
This guy described himself as the irritable type. Some joker would come up in shul and open the window he had just closed. (How dare he!) Some idiot would drive too fast, or too slow, or not know how to operate their cash register. You know, just little annoyances.
And then, his first kid got engaged. He was on top of the world. Full of joy. These things somehow stopped taking away from his simchas ha'chaim because he had so much simcha. And he realized he could act toward all these annoying people like a billionaire foundation chief. He could "give a grant" to that joker to close the window without his getting alarmed. He could "give a grant" to be patient with idiots. He could "give a grant" to just about anyone to allow just about anything.
After all, he was ON TOP of the world, and it was HIS universe and HE could decide to be as nice as he wanted. And since he felt like Warren Buffett, it wasn't hard at all.
So he started giving out grants, for free, in his head. And all of a sudden these people weren't so annoying anymore. After all, he had a billion dollars and giving them a grant only cost a small sum. So, in his totally egotistic view of the world, he conquered his irritation by being in charge of giving them permission to act imperfectly.
So now if my wife burns the noodles, I can give her a grant to be imperfect... And when she sings off-key, I can TRY to remember that she really ENJOYS singing, that it means a lot to her. I can give her a grant for singing time. It's an expensive gift, granted (I have musical training; off-key is PAINFUL), but I'm benevolent and rich and kind and (totally full of ego and gaiveh and stuff and) happy to give a gift to a fellow human being :-)