One of the ideas mentioned on the weekly call this past Tuesday that I thought was great, is that it's OK to let painful feelings just sit there. It's OK to be in pain - it's part of life and it will pass. We addicts are not aware of this. We think we need to find a "fix" for all pain, and that "fix" is to act out. Obviously this type of fix is only temporary and will lead to more pain...which requires another fix... in a viscous downward cycle.
This reminded me also of Tip #4 under "Mind Tips" on our site where it says:
Bearing the Pain. Learn how to bear the mental pain of saying "No" to yourself. Naturally, we go to what feels good and we stay away from pain. We got that from cows. Animals don't understand that a painful experience can be beneficial. Try and explain surgery to a cow. All the cow understands is "Food", I go. "Pain", I go away. But we humans were endowed with wisdom! Tell yourself, the pain I feel is GOOD for me, the pain I feel is HEALING me, and it is fixing all that I have damaged in the past (like surgery).
Here's something an x-addict wrote about pain on an Arutz Sheva "Talk-Back":
Many find themselves in destructive behavior when they feel pain and don't see a way out. When I felt pain, I wanted a way to avoid it ... which only took me further from reality.
It's OK to sit with pain ... it's better than the mind-numbing behaviors that remove us from the world.
Thank G-d that we FEEL AGAIN! ... even if it's pain.
Be assured that you are making progress.