How are you doing? 1,000 unique chizuk e-mail members... wow. You're one busy guy, keep up the good work! Since you're still my accountability partner (from over a year ago), here's an update:
B"H I'm still clean based on the rules of the Wall Of Honor for 15 months now. The key to staying sober, as many have stated (including me, and I'm repeating it now because it's only being reinforced for me over time) is not to focus on staying clean, but rather to focus on positive growth, a connection to Hashem, and to identify and banish thoughts of lust as soon as they begin to form. This means being aware of your thoughts and correctly identifying those that stem from the addiction, even if they're seemingly unrelated at the outset. It also means that no matter how "pure" your intentions seem, (e.g. 'I'm trying to use the GYE Handbook techniques on this woman - I only want the very best for her... for who? Oh, that woman)', the only honest and proper step is to STOP those thoughts in their tracks and replace them with something else.
This is not easy to do, partly because you need to have something else to think about that is compelling and interesting. We addicts have not developed many deep interests outside of the addiction because we've been chained to it. The addiction won't allow anything else to co-exist, so it takes time to do this even after you're clean for a while. Developing positive interests and pursuing positive goals is what we should have been doing all along (and it's what non-addicts spend their lives doing), so it's not surprising that it takes time. Although I can write this and know that it's true, I still get impatient and frustrated that I'm not progressing more quickly at times. The challenge is to adopt something - anything - that I want to work on and STICK WITH IT. Because I'm so focused on making sure it's emotionally fulfilling (so it can replace the addiction which was also an attempt at emotional fulfillment, albeit a momentary and ultimately destructive one), I have a hard time getting myself to open a sefer when the emotions are not there. But by doing even when I don't want to, the emotions eventually kick in.