My name is Yosef. I posted on this forum only one time in the past, more than 6 months ago. At that time, I also reached out to someone here on the forum, but not believing that he would ever answer my PM (private messages), I never checked my messages - until today... until a second before I was planning to act out big time with this computer. Somehow, with practically no will left to do anything besides log in to some shmutz, my frozen fingers typed in this site. Immediately I was reading a series of three PMs that this guy send me back in June and July, practically begging me to contact him. Instead of falling into lust, I fell into tears... and after a few minutes of deep sobbing, the poison inside me seemed to be gone. I was filled with new strength and the Yetzer had lost his grip. Please know that these kind of things don't usually happen to me; the hidden kindness of a "stranger" just waiting to come out at the right time. Hashem - How great are your Works!
I want to thank all of you for reaching out to me with love in my time of pain. I cannot describe how empowered I am feeling by your responses to my post. I feel connected to you all. The way that this community has responded to me inspired me to look into the Twelve and Twelve (something I have not done for a while). As I opened the book, "it" turned to page 27. There staring me in the face were the following words:
"Many a man like you has begun to solve the problem (of Faith) by the method of substitution. You can, if you wish, make A.A. (substitute GYE) itself your "Higher Power". Here's a very large group of people who have solved their Alcohol (substitute lust) problem. In this respect, they (the GYE Community) are certainly a 'Power greater than you', who have not even come close to a solution. Surely you can have faith in them. Even this minimum of faith will be enough. You will find many members who have crossed the threshold just this way. All of them will tell you that, once across, their faith broadened and deepened. Then relieved of the (lust) obsession...they began to (truly) Believe in a Higher Power and speak of G-D."
AIN OYD MILVADO! I love you all.