My name is Boruch and I'm a regular chasidishe bucher learning in Israel.
About a year ago, I read an article in the Mishpacha magazine (Lifelines section) about a man who struggled with internet pornography and found the site called GYE and recovered through it by keeping in touch with other members who were also struggling. At the time, I scoffed at the idea: "Yeah, some person was struggling with shmiras einayim and got help."
Now, let me give you a bit of a background. I was sexually abused when I was 11-12 by a boy in my class. Happens to be, I'm not angry at him, although he had introduced me to sex. I was hooked from the first moment, and from there, I continued my journey into a whole "other life" which became my main life that I lived for 7 years. It involved me abusing my younger brother, touching my cleaning lady inappropriately without permission, and acting out with anyone willing to... Any one of my cousins/friends who slept over at my house was subject to my abuse, and when that wasn't available, I would just masturbate. And above all this was me feeling like a total idiot, a piece of crap, and definitely not a person deserving of any good. I knew I was harming myself and others but I couldn't stop. I was in such a bad place after trying therapists, mechanchim, rebbes, etc. that I decided to give GYE a shot. I logged on and up came a very fine fellow who chatted with me and eventually pushed/forced me to go to my first SA meeting. I returned from the meeting on a high and haven't stopped going ever since.
Why am I sending you this? Because last week I reached 6 months of sobriety in SA. I wouldn't have dreamed in my entire life that I could reach this status, and I'm eternally grateful to GYE for enabling me to do it.
Thank you so much,
With best wishes
A grateful recovering addict