Thank You GYE! Thank G-d, this past week I completed the GYE 90-day journey. It's been an interesting process and before I share some of what's worked for me I'd like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you. Whether you realize it or not, you've all played a part in my success. Just knowing that this place exists, that despite the fact that the prevailing world view is that this behavior is acceptable - 'normal' even - and that despite the addiction and all that it entails, there are people who out of their extreme devotion to Hashem are fighting tooth and nail to break free and overcome this crippling illness, provides me with huge chizuk. Before I visited this website, I had almost deluded myself into thinking that "it's not so bad... I'm single, how could G-d possibly expect me to NOT do this?". I had virtually given up or given in. GYE was the slap in the face I so badly needed. So thank you!
Along the way I've picked up a few things and I'd like to share some of them with you now:
1. You must, MUST install an internet filter. In my opinion, if you have an addiction you simply will not stay clean without one. For it to be effective, you must make sure that you won't remember the password. The filter gabbai is one of the best services that this website provides, so if you can't entrust the password with a family member or close friend, pass the details on to the gabbai.
2. The GYE emails and the forum are both great resources. Make use of them! As I said before, just being around the forum and other people who understand what you're going through is a huge source of inspiration and help. Sign up to an accountability group, post messages of support for other members, just get involved! We are not islands, we are members of a community.
3. Even before a good filter, the eyes and mind are the two most important filters there are. Yes, you will see attractive women and some of the time they will be dressed immodestly, but it's how you react that will make all the difference. As addicts, we tend to fixate on things we shouldn't, we tend to think that if we look away we might be missing out on something... but the truth is there is no real enjoyment to be had from this filth! The sooner I realized that and the more clearer that has become, the better and longer I've remained sober.
4. 90 days is a lot shorter than it sounds. As Chazal say "all beginnings are difficult". Just take it slow at the start. If you can make it past day 30, you are well, well on your way.
I wish everyone the ultimate success in their recovery.