I wanted to update the chevra how things are going for me. First of all, you all should know that I never really believed that I would be able to stop my masturbation problem. I have major anxiety, and I'm also a very sensitive person. For many years, I've used masturbation to calm me down. Later on, I found bad things online that turned me on... It was very hard to control myself. I could never even take a nap because before I knew it I was masturbating. It was tremendous hashgacha protis when I was visiting somebody and he happened to mention that he got a filter through GYE that helps people with addictions. This person had no idea of my situation. This led me to check out GYE.
In the beginning, the sight seemed rather strange to me, but I must admit that it is GYE that really gave me the courage to finally do something. Thank you, GYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today is the fifty-first day that I have not masturbated!!! How did this happen? With Hashem's help, I decided that if I masturbate I will say the entire sefer Tehillim before I got to sleep. Even if it meant staying up two hours at night to do it. In addition, I would give $50 to tzeddakah.
It also happens that I randomly picked up a twelve steps book before finding out about GYE that was also helpful in realizing that I need to give this problem to Hashem. It can only be handled with the help of a Higher power. The first week or two I bought myself a treat as a reward and promised to get myself something for the continued success.
Since I've abstained from my OLD behavior, my sex life and my marriage are amazing. I do have an ongoing struggle that my wife is not naturally loving. This is difficult since I do need her now more than ever. With Hashem's help, she will change but even if not, life is a trillion times better this way. I have never shown my wife such love and that is a great feeling.