The Library

I haven't acted out for a few weeks, but I don't find my wife attractive. She's pregnant and doesn't wear makeup at home. What can I do? Yaakov Responds: First of all, who decreed that a man must be always attracted to his wife? Hashem gives each person what they need...

"Shtarkandemotional" writes on the GYE forum (click here for the full thread): I’m a very frum Jew in yeshiva and in a very meaningful and emotional relationship with a very frum girl... We’re both yeshivish background and it’s a secret! I never thought I would be posting...

GS says: “Not without your sponsor and not before you get to step 9. And - not until you have read everything the Big Book, the '12 and 12', and what the White Book say about disclosures.” Dan says: “I have been in the rooms for about 8 years. I haven't seen anyone wi...

Robert came to my office, not by his own choice. He was “forced” by his wife Linda to meet me with me. She was sick and tired of Robert’s growing distance from her. And had suspected that he was acting inappropriately on his computer and was repulsed by the way he woul...

Someone wrote to GYE: I have been sober for almost ten months, Baruch Hashem, and I have been attending SA meetings for almost a year. I got permission from my addiction therapist to begin dating at six months of sobriety, and I began a few months ago, right after Succos...

Kanesher asks: Now that I'm married I wonder if I erred. Maybe it was all a joke; maybe intimacy is really what matters? Frankly, I've never gone that far – maybe that's where happiness is? Heck, I know I'm not happy now!! I am struggling in my own marriage with my deep a...

Someone wrote: I caught my 6 year old daughter pleasuring herself. I don’t want this to develop into an addiction, is there anything I can do now to prevent this from continuing? The GYE Rebbetzin (7up) responds. I had hoped to really answer with profession opinions behi...

We have previouly discussed how the 12-Steps give us a set of guidelines that are basic foundations of what it means to be a human being - created in the image of G-d. We have also discussed that it is only after our foundations are solid that can we begin to build on top...

A member called "Yaakov" posted a reply to "eme" (edited): I have done the 12 steps without the groups, so I can testify that it is possible to grow from the 12 steps without the groups. However, those who went to the groups will tell that you will gain a lot by going to ...

Bruce posted on the forum: OK folks, I have to shamefully announce yet again that I had a fall this weekend. Perhaps it is the final push of the Y'H before I start the 90 day challenge. He knows I'll make it, so he's trying to delay it. And he did a good job, too. But whe...

Dov writes on the forum: Once sobriety became my #1 priority and I achieved some time sober, it became precious. And to do anything that will make me lose it, is unthinkable. Nevertheless, when I feel lust, suddenly doing the unthinkable becomes very sensible, and I actua...

Ilan posted a question on the forum: Hi Reb GYE and the Rest of Us,About 4 years ago, there was a certain girl who was in one of my university classes. She caught my attention as soon as I saw her, but as a decent observant Jew, I always avoided her like I avoided all gir...

"Be-Holy" posted once on the forum: We have kosher internet Rimon and my temptations are getting lighter, but my issue is that I still can't look my wife in the eye because I wish she looked better, and in my mind, I want her to dress sexier - while at the same time knowi...

"ShomerAiyin" posted on the forum: Sorry to burst everyone's pre-Shavuot highs, but I'm having a bit of a crisis. I don't know how to internalize everything written on this site, including the 12 steps. - I've read the 2 handbooks, both the GYE Handbook and the Attitude ...

Rashkebahag asks on the forum: I find that people under stress are very prone to this addiction. They use it as an escape. I am under stress in many areas of my life. I used to think that maybe the stress is a divine punishment for my bad habit, but now that I am genuinel...

"London" writes on the forum to someone who believes that Torah and Mussar will be enough to get him out of his addiction: My question to you is simply this: is what you are doing now working, are you staying sober, staying stopped, and leading a purposeful life? If you a...

"Snibril" asks on the forum: Chazal say that "everything is in the hands of heaven besides for the fear of Heaven". How does this fit in with the idea that we should just give over the fight to Hashem? Doesn't "free-choice" mean that Hashem gives the fight ove...

I am new on this website. I have now close to 9 months of sobriety and I am very grateful to Hashem for this. It has given me an unbelievable sense of living guilt-free and normal. Until I started the road of recovery, I always felt like a fake, as if I we...