Rosh Hashanah is almost here and I think it's time for each of us to address a very basic question: "Who am I?" Sometimes you feel like a good person. Perhaps more often, you feel like a bad person. Sometimes you feel successful; probably more often, you feel unsuccessful. So who are you really?
R' Tzadok Hacohen in Tzidkas Hatzadik (111) says the following:
"In the last period before Moshiach comes, the main avoda/tikun is ONLY to take the good out FROM the bad. And only in the place (situation) of the Yetzer Hara and the powerful rise of sin will Hashem redeem us, specifically through Teshuva (as opposed to not sinning in the first place). As it says, "Moshiach will come in a generation that's all guilty".
AND A PERSON LIKE THAT (that by nature is pulled to sin and has to pull himself out by Teshuva) IS FROM "THE ELEMENT OF MOSHIACH", meaning that his soul belongs to a special group that have the power to facilitate the Geulah. As we find, that Dovid Hamelech (who was the root of Moshiach) was the one to raise up the banner/power of Teshuva.
As it is known, that the head of the neshomoh of klal Yisroel (which is made up of all the individual neshomos) is very high, but it's feet go down to the lowest of the low. And before Moshiach, the souls are from the feet - where there is a great force of evil and Yetzer Hara.
AND THEREFORE, ONLY A GENERATION OF SOULS LIKE THAT WILL MERIT MOSHIACH, AS CHAZAL SAY ON THE PASUK: "AND HASHEM SAW THAT IT WAS VERY GOOD"; "VERY GOOD" REFERS TO THE YETZER HARA.
Also Moshiach himself comes from such a source. As it is known from the "Midrash Hane'elam" in Parshas Vayera about the daughters of Lot - and Lot himself, that they are the ROOT OF THE POWER OF THE YETZER HARA, AND OUT FROM THERE GREW THE TREE/FAMILY OF MOSHIACH.
THIS IS BECAUSE, THAT IS PRECISELY THE EPITOME OF THE COMPLETE PERFECTION THAT WILL BE WHEN MOSHIACH COMES; THAT THE VERY ROOT OF BAD WILL BE TURNED INTO GOOD. AND THAT IS THE MEANING OF "THE SLAUGHTERING OF THE YETZER HARA" THAT IS MENTIONED IN GEMOROH IN SUKAH"
R' Tzadok is telling us that it's our job to bring Moshiach and no Tzadik could ever do the job. Hashem entrusted us with this mission. He believes in us! In fact, the Chidushei Ha'rim says that in order to be able to go so low and come out of it, you have to be from a very high source. This shouldn't be surprising to anyone around here on the forum. Just look at the powerful retzonos and yearning of the holy holy people here.
We asked "who am I?". WELL, THIS RATZON IS YOU! THAT'S WHO YOU ARE! Yes, it's true that you have some very low weaknesses. But that's part of the great shlichus that Hashem gave you; the shlichus to bring Moshiach.
DO YOU REALIZE WHO YOU ARE? YOU ARE THE SHLI'ACH OF HASHEM TO BRING MOSHIACH!
You are one of the very few neshomos that are able to survive - and even fight back - amid such overwhelming tumah! That's who you are!
You are bringing Hashem down into places where Tzadikim of previous generations could never have brought Him down. AND THAT IS THE TRUE MEANING OF DECLARING HASHEM KING IN THE WORLD!
I just read through what you wrote from the Tzidkas Hatzadik . Thank you so much! This is really good stuff and is really mechazek me. Whenever I see something from Reb Tzadok Hakohen, my eyes and ears perk up. I once heard the following as well:
"Reb Tzadok HaCohen (i.e. Tzidkas Hatzadik) writes that if a person sees that he is having an especially difficult time in controlling a certain trait or refraining from a certain kind of action, he should not view this as a sign of weakness on his part. Rather, he should view it as an indication from Heaven that it is precisely in this area that he has the greatest potential for growth. The difficulties he is experiencing are a means for him to apply greater effort in overcoming the challenge, and developing that trait in which he, in fact, has the greatest potential to grow."
Yes, this can be found in #49 and #181. This yesod changed my life. I live by this yesod. In fact, to date, I consider shmiras eiynayim to be my biggest accomplishment. I went from a terrible p**n and MB addict, to aversions to any sort of unhealthy sight. I try with all my might to not even get a first "drink" of anything un-tzeniyus. I am careful with the way I walk (head down). And I can tell you that this did not come naturally. I used to be a hardcore addict with no shame. But when you learn not to settle for "nebach, that's who I am" and realize that davka in this area you can rise to the top, then davka in this area you do rise to the top!
I daven everyday for Hashem to protect me from pritzus. The trick is to take one step at a time and always know that there is yet another step ahead for you to climb.