Today's perek (on the Tehillim thread) is perek 38, Mizmor Levodid.
"Your arrows have been shot into me, and Your hand has come down upon me."
"My heart is in storm, my strength has forsaken me, and the light of my eyes - they, too, are no longer with me."
"For I am prone to crippling pain, and my ache is always before me."
A depressing psalm at best; hopeless at worst.
Sounds like what I've been feeling like lately.
What is Dovid telling us?
What does he want from us?
Let me share with you a story about the Baal Shem Tov....
One Thursday morning, the Baal Shem Tov turned to his Chassidim and said:
"Prepare the carriage. We're going somewhere for Shabbos."
He did not disclose their destination, and the Chassidim knew better than to ask.
So they headed out and traveled all day until they got to a remote village.
They continued to the edge of the village and came to a stop by the most broken-down shack that any of them had ever seen.
Out came running a poshut yid who, judging by his patched-up clothes, did not have much money to his name.
"Guests! Please come in! Have something to eat! Will you please stay by us for Shabbos?
The Baal Shem Tov agreed, and as the yid went running inside to find some food, the Baal Shem turned to his Chassidim and said, "No matter what, do not tell this man who I am."
The yid, Yankel was his name, was meanwhile begging his wife to let him shecht the cow.
"We never have guests, my wife. What a zechus! They need a proper meal!"
The wife solemnly answered:
"But we need this cow for milk for our kids. Do you want them to starve??"
"The guests come first. Hashem will provide."
So he slaughtered the cow and served his guests a nice lunch.
The Chassidim felt bad eating at all, because they knew that this man obviously was taking food from his own children's mouths.
But the Baal Shem Tov finished everything in sight.
The next morning, he finished whatever was left from the previous night.
His Chassidim were shocked, but they didn't say anything.
After breakfast, the Baal Shem said to his host:
"Now I will give you my menu for shabbos. I want two types of fish, soup, chicken, meat, wine, challas, cakes, etc."
Yankel rushed to his wife.
"My wife, we need to give our guests a special Shabbos meal."
"But Yankel, we have no money! And we slaughtered the cow yesterday! What are we supposed to feed them with?!"
But Yankel was not deterred.
"We have only one choice. We must sell our house."
"WHAT?!"
"Yes. For the honor of our guests and for the honor of Shabbos, I am going to sell the house."
So he went to the local real estate agent and sold the house.
A broken-down shack, how much is it even worth?
Just enough for three Shabbos meals, really.
Yankel made the sale and agreed that he would hand over the house next week.
That shabbos, the Chassidim felt sick.
They knew that this meal was finishing off Yankel for good.
They'd rather have died than be sitting there at that Shabbos table.
But the Baal Shem Tov ate everything that they left over.
He did not leave a morsel.
After Shabbos, the Chassidim rushed to the wagon, desperate to leave.
But the Baal Shem walked slowly out.
As the wagon pulled away, the Baal Shem Tov leaned out and said:
"I just want you to know. I am the Baal Shem Tov!"
Yankel watched them disappear and slowly realized his situation.
He had nothing.
No house.
No money.
No food.
His wife wasn't speaking with him.
What was there to do?