Uri, you're so strong. I think I'll be repeating your name during Ne'ilah this Yom Kippur... All the prosecuting angels will surely flee when they hear your name!
But Uri, I just want to mention one important thing. You wrote:
"I also have had enough of falling by myself. I have my finger on the phone waiting to call a girl which I know for certain will lead to *** tonight".
You should know, that sinning with someone live is very serious. Nidda is an Issur Kares, and even touching "bi'derech chiba" is ye'hareg ve'al ya'avor since that is "abizraya de'arayos" (see the sefer Nidchai Yisrael from the Chafetz Chaim)... Now I'm not here to give mussar or try to sound scary, but in the book "The First Day of the Rest of My Life" by R' Shraga, he suggests drawing red lines; i.e. conquering one territory at a time (see Day 6-7 in the PDF file). Please Uri, make sinning with others your red line. We all believe that you can do that. Count 90 days clean in that territory, and then you can move on to conquer more territory. Can you take this upon yourself now in front of us all here on the forum, your brothers and sisters who love you, now, right before Rosh Hashana??? Can you do it?? Go Uri, Go! Make the announcement and we'll throw a party for you!!!!
Guard,
After carefully considering your offer,
and after consulting with Mom ("7Up") at length on the matter,
I accept you challenge.
My red line now is officially no physical contact with girls.
That includes anything from hugging to ***.
No matter how low I fall, that is my limit.
Happy?
-uri
You guys are so amazing.
I was so touched when I read the last 2 pages.
I am at a loss for words.
Mom (7Up) contacted me today (she doesn't do that often)
Apparently she received several SOS's for me.
These 2 pages are gonna be something that will be mechazek me for a while.
I will return to them when I'm down IY"H.
My heart feels very full now:
I was drowning
no way to get out
I was losing air,
water in my mouth.
I thought my final thoughts
as the water covered me.
I thought what life could've been,
what it was meant to be.
But now I would die,
drowned by self love.
I gave the evil one my heart,
instead of The One Above.
But as my head went under
I sensed movement up on high
A hand reached down,
and called to me with a cry.
I didn't have strength left
to reach for my life.
But the person just reached down
cut the cords with a knife.
As I was pulled up,
I realized who my savior was.
It was Momo, my friend,
who did what an angel does.
I understood what had happened
as I was drawing my last breath.
My friends, who I love so much
had come and fought lust to the death.
He had run away screaming
"these people are nuts!!"
I hugged them all tightly
"now whose in the dust?"
Anyway, you can imagine the party we threw for Uri on the forum (see from reply #731 and on at Uri's place).
I even uploaded a special song in honor of Uri's PARTY!! Download it Here (if you don't know Hebrew, the theme of the song is translated as "We Shall Overcome").
Uri, I'd like to tell you what you did for me. After we spoke, I actually felt good about myself, and that's not a given for someone suffering from depression and low self esteem. I felt that I actually made a difference in someone's life, even if it was for a moment. That gave me the motivation to work extra hard yesterday afternoon. In addition, I didn't stay late at work, instead, I was motivated to go to a shiur! I used to go to a daily shiur, but I stopped about 2 months ago, and it felt great to go back. So Uri, I thank YOU. You see, not only does mitzva gorreret mitzva, but I think that the kedusha that YOU, Uri, brought into the world by saying "No" to the Y"H and passing a very difficult test, fell on me too and raised me up. What I'm trying to say is, that not only did I NOT inconvenience myself by calling you, we helped each other. Please feel free to call me anytime!
So Rabbosai, if this isn't what Teshuva, Ahavas Yisrael and "Kol Yisrael Areivim" is all about, what is? Is this not the best preparation for the Yomim Nora'im? Let us all take a lesson from these heroes, and learn the power of "group support", and of calling out to others when we feel weak.