“Exhilarated Daughter of Hashem” wrote:
I just wanted to take the opportunity to thank Dov for his amazing insight on lust. One thing he keeps writing about, and that really makes all the difference for me, is giving the struggle over to Hashem. When I'm at the verge of falling, my magic mantra has become: "Hashem, this is much bigger than me and only You can get me out. Help me so that I shouldn't fall." I repeat that over and over and it really helps! Thank you so much for helping me stay clean, one day at a time.
GYE Responds:
Thank you for this nice share. Yes, what Dov always shares seems to be the only way to beat the yetzer hara at the end of the day.
I was thinking recently, we find by the story of the Meraglim, that they clearly saw that אל פי טבע (naturally) there was no way to beat the Canaanites who were had gigantic walls and fortified cities, not to mention big armies and even GIANTS among them. So what was Hashem's great anger at the Meraglim? They were only giving over the facts! The answer is, that there is not just black-and-white either "we can" or "we can't" win them. There's a 3rd way, and that's really the ONLY way that works. And that 3rd way is "I can't, but HE can". And since I know that He wants only my best interest, I need to trust in HIM completely that He WILL (if I only want it and ask Him for help).
And that's the whole test of life: not to be strong and fight valiantly. But to recognize we can't, and instead TRUST that Hashem will do it for us. As the pasuk in Tehillim says:
את המייחלים לחסדו לא בגבורת הסוס יחפץ, לא בשוקי האיש ירצה... רוצה ה' את יראיו
The more we NEED someone, the more we are connected to them. When we NEED Hashem, we become connected to Him. And Hashem desires the relationship, the connection...
Along these lines, I was also thinking recently... Chazal say that at the end of days Hashem will slaughter the Yetzer Hara. Both the Tzadikim and Reshaim will weep. The Tzadikim will weep with joy and ask, "how did we conquer such a great mountain?" and the Reshaim will weep in pain and ask "how could we not have conquered such a small thread?"... The question is, why do the Tzadikim see the Yetzer Hara as a mountain and the Reshaim as a thread? How can they both be true?
Perhaps based on the idea above we can understand this idea too. The Yetzer Hara is indeed a great mountain that is INSURMOUNTABLE. However, Hashem doesn't ask us to conquer the mountain at all. He asks us only to turn to Him and hope to Him! When the Reshaim understand that fact finally, they weep because they could have just given over the fight to Hashem. The problem wasn't that they couldn't, but rather that they didn't WANT to let go of the self and/or didn't trust enough that Hashem only has our best interest in mind and therefore will help us win, if we only ask.
And so, this is the secret of success in all our struggles. If we only internalize this, we can be victorious over the great mountain by just stepping over this little thread.