Once you have established some of the triggers and situations that activate your desires, it is time to deal with the specific situations that might arise. First, you must try to determine when you will be challenged. When you are calm from desire, think into the upcoming future and try to figure out what is likely to happen. Where will you be going and who will you be with over the next few days? Based on what you have recorded and what you know about yourself, are you likely to be somewhere where you will be susceptible to desire? What challenging situations might you face? Is there something specific you struggle with? When is it most likely to happen?
The planning phase of this exercise should be done at a set time at least once a week, preferably toward the weekend, when more challenges occur. Map out your week, playing out in your mind what activities you will do and where you might go. What challenges are you likely to face? Then, plan how you will deal with those challenges. Decide how you will protect yourself and how you will stay sharp.
Next, envision those challenges arising and see yourself doing the right thing. Visualize yourself holding back from indulging or even leaving the situation. Picture yourself being firm and not allowing desire to awaken and penetrate. And envision yourself saying no even if you will want to give in.
In addition, build your determination to win by thinking firmly over and over that you will not fall for temptation, and that you won’t let it start up. This must be done calmly and with conviction. Feel confident that you will be in control over yourself and that you are determined not to give in. Repeatedly think to yourself, “I am going to succeed!” and “I will not do that!” and pump your fist with each thought. Decide once and for all that “This is inappropriate, and I’m not doing it!” or that “I might desire it, but I won’t do it.” It is so empowering when you are in control instead of desires controlling you!
It is critical that you build up your determination before the challenge starts. By firing yourself up in advance, you will have the strength to do the right thing. Rather than being caught off guard, you will be ready and motivated to win. Even better, your desires won’t be as strong in the first place.
If you have been slipping frequently, part of building determination is to make yourself feel, “Enough! I won’t let myself be run over any longer! I no longer want this, and I am not doing it anymore.” Keep thinking this over and over. The conviction that results will help you break through the strongest urges and regain control.