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Shmiras Habris was the key to my becoming a BT

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

 

I was in Israel, 14 years old, from a regular non frum family, the typical half Israeli / half American Jew. I put on Tefillin every day, but that was about it. Every time I saw a frum Jew, I identified with him, I wanted to be like him, but that spark was not bright enough inside of me.

I got over involved with one girl and I was caught up in the thoughts of an uncontrolled mind. Everything was about “that.” One day I was on my aunt’s computer and I fell terribly. I then went back onto the computer, but instead of searching for darkness I was searched for what Judaism had to say on this issue. I then found Guardyoureyes. It was the brightest night of my life. After that, I started working on myself. This Mitzvah, shmiras habris, was the kick start to me really pursuing a life of Torah, a life of seeking Hashem.

I have been clean for two years now. I am 16 and a half years old. I fell a couple of times in those otherwise clean years, but falling is a part of the journey. Getting up is a manifestation of that journey, by moving on. If I could say one thing to all of you who are struggling it would be: Never give up. I still am in a co-ed school, and don’t have power over my education as I still am under 18 (trust me, I tried). But even in the darkest places, this madreiga is possible to reach. I won’t even call it a madreiga, rather this place; this Island, where a yid feels safe because we reveal the verse “Smolo Tachas leroishi, veyominu techobkeini - His right hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me”. This is what Shmiras Habris does to a Yid. It takes a teen keeping the bare minimum, and makes him pursue Shabbos, Kashrus, and a love for learning!

This is what GuardYourEyes did for me, it made Shmiras Habris possible, and this is what I pray GuardYourEyes will do to all of Am Yisroel, and ultimately, to the entire world.

Please Hashem, send us Moshiach! We will be filled with song, the song of freedom, the song that I feel and wish I could share with all of you.