I have close to 9 months sobriety, and I want to share this true story with you.
I had a job interview today, and, at the end of the interview, the CEO of the company gave me the job. The job is due to start next week. I was really up for taking him up on the offer, until I realized that only 3 people work for this firm. These are the CEO and his not-tzanuah female secretary. The secretary would be my 'line-manager,' and I would be working in the same room as this young woman.
Intuitively, I knew I had to turn down this job offer. But, I had a dilemma. We really need the money; on the other hand, how could I jeopardise my life, my marriage, my kids by working in such proximity to a woman. Whether or not I would have sex with her or whether I would have fantasized about having sex with her is irrelevant. The Yetzer Hara is powerful, it will do anything to kill you. Destroy your life and anything meaningful that is in it. I shouldn't have even had a dilemma.
Baruch Hashem, my wife smashed some sense into my addict brain. I can now turn round to this guy and say 'no, thank you'. Say 'thank you' to my wife for knowing me better than I know myself. Say 'no, thank you' to the Yetzer Hara, 'there is no place for you in my life.' Say 'thank you' to Hashem for giving me the opportunity to sanctify His Name and show Him that I am ready to get better, fight His Wars and make my decisions based on what He wants and not on what my addiction wants.
Please, Hashem, help me find a job that will help me support my family in a respectable way and at the same time not be put in a situation where my illness or my shmiras einayim will be damaged.