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I'd Be Toast Without Filters

Monday, 19 December 2011

Boruch Hashem, I am now over 550 days clean.

Interestingly, my wife went to Mikva a few days ago (after 23 days unclean). Since then, things have been much more difficult for me than during the previous 23 days. I know this is a not uncommon phenomenon, but go figure! As Chazal say, "there is a small limb in a man, if we feed it, it is hungry, if we starve it, it is satiated" (Sanhedrin 107).

Although Google is on "safe search" and K9 is on a very strong setting, today something came up in a Google search that I was tempted to click on (I really shouldn't have done that search to begin with, but that's another story). Not wanting to throw 550 days of sobriety out the window, I thought that maybe I could click on it, and quickly cover the screen before it came up, just to satisfy my curiosity as to whether or not K9 would block it. Realizing that I was treading on very thin ice, I held myself back, and called my wife to put in the K9 password. I then added the site in question to the blocked sites list, so, even if K9 previously would have allowed that site (b'Ezras Hashem, I'll never know), it won't allow it now. I also specifically blocked one of the words that had been used in that Google search, so I won't be able to do that particular search again.

I realize, of course, that filters alone, or together with monitoring software (I have both), are not the total answer, but, man, would I be toast without them!